You can call me Marianne Williamson because I’m feeling really “camp” right now.
Dad. What can I even say? Every single day I wake up and am even more grateful for everything you do to be the best possible role model your children could possibly ask for. I love you more and more every single day and am blessed to call you not only my dad, but my best friend. Here’s to many more great fathers days!
Registering people to vote is FUN. Standing is not fun. Come to the @HEADCOUNTorg booth at Bonnaroo and learn how you can register to vote & volunteer!
don’t make eye contact. don’t make eye contact. don’t make eye contact.
And then ice fell out of the sky
To those who lost their lives in Virginia Beach, Laquita C. Brown, Tara Welch Gallagher, Mary Louise Gayle, Alexander Mikhail Gusev, Richard H. Nettleton, Christopher Kelly Rapp, Katherine A. Nixon, Ryan Keith Cox, Michelle Langer, Joshua O. Hardy, Robert Williams, and Herbert Snelling, we are so sorry. We will never forget you. We will spread as much love as we can into this cruel, unforgiving world in your name and you will be with us along the way.
Ask her what I was like in 4th grade
We’d be so much better off if we still had this guy around
I wish there was a solution to school shootings as easy as metal detectors. Unfortunately, it’s more complicated than that. No school shooter is going to be stopped by security with an AR-15 in their bag and say “Aw dangit, you caught me!” They are going to get a free line of victims to slaughter.
I’m sorry guys I had to make this
Of COURSE Ted Cruz is a Capricorn 😒🤨🙄
Was such a pleasure to meet Senate Majority Leader McConnell to have a civil, in-depth discussion about common sense ways we can end gun violence. Thank you Senator McConnell!!!
Having divorced parents can be lit sometimes. I had two great parents and now I’ve got four great parents. Kids who are going through divorces- I promise you it gets so much better. My parents were a bad couple. Their divorce really hurt me, but now I’m thankful to both of them for knowing that all of our lives would be better if they ended it. Now we are all happy and life is more complicated than it was back in the day, but that’s where we become people, you know!!!!!! I’m thankful to my folks for taking my brothers and I into consideration when they made that decision, thankful for my wonderful step parents who I don’t know what life would be without, thankful for my step sister other than the fact that she’s 12 and listens to rap,,, I’m thankful for all of it. Divorce is so hard to go through, but the world is a beautiful place, and you gotta trust yourself to work it all out 🥴🥴🥰🥰
I’m wearing @mooch’s clothes #SALT2019
Super excited to post my @columbia acceptance without my home address in it! Please note- Academically, I have a long way to go before I earn my spot there. I am grateful to Columbia for giving me a chance to prove myself, and I will work harder on this than I have on anything before. #StudentLIONDebt #Jeb!
Can’t come by the CNN office to tape without hanging out with my two favorite guys! Love these two so much thank you guys for all the support #BestBuds2K19
My suspiciously Robert Pattinson-esque little brother is 17 now and I guarantee you all that not a single person in this world is ready. Could not begin to express how proud I am to share genetics with this incredible human being. The fact that he has come this far at such a young age is indicative of an absolute champion of a human being. He went from hardly speaking a word to not being able to shut his trap and being a bright leader in every room he’s in. Everybody who needs a friend has one in Holden. Everybody who needs a role model knows exactly where to look. Holdie has time and again proven that he is the guy who will go the extra mile for the people around him, and despite his selflessness, I guarantee the world will reward him. So excited to see what shit you get yourself into this year, big guy. Love you every second of every day.
Money well spent #TheBoss
This man is going to be 17 in 30 minutes and this year, he ain’t Holden back. There are no words for how proud I am of this guy every single day. Holden is the best of us and none of us are worthy. All hail Plankton.
Thankful times infinity for the girl who reminds me every single day how wonderful human beings can be. Even in the times when I think everything is going wrong (like when my tamagotchi pet passed away) and the times when I am an absolute unfettered pain in the ass to even know, she’s there to bring light into my world and make me feel like I can become the person I want to be. She is the smartest, kindest, most beautiful human being I have ever been lucky enough to meet. I’m so thankful that I decided to do Little Shop in 2015.
Last night, the clock hit midnight and the world was exactly the way it was at 11:59 pm. It was very strange. I thought that once the 13th became the 14th, I would feel the difference like it was punching me in the chest. But no. 12:05 am comes along and I haven’t yet reached my magical catharsis where suddenly the world and all its facets makes perfect sense. So I just sat in my bed. Couldn’t sleep. Tried to read but couldn’t focus. I decided to walk to Douglas. I don’t know why, I guess I thought that seeing it would make it real. Maybe it would give me some perspective. I had no idea what would happen. It was also freezing and I was wearing a tee shirt and shorts, which is my fault. When I got there, I saw a handful of people sitting in the garden to pay their respects. It was really nice to see. But still, something felt wrong. I looked at the school and it all felt wrong. It can’t be that this has been a year. That’s impossible. It was five minutes ago. It was also ten years ago. I don’t know. But a year? That’s just so wrong. That makes it real. This is reality. The nightmare from which we prayed we would wake up is the real world and it keeps spinning every day. And every day, I’m thankful. I’m thankful for the families who wake up every day having lost a loved one and still move forward into the world with optimism and hope. I’m thankful for the people I’ve never met who granted the students from my school a chance to use our voices and be heard. I’m thankful for everybody who saw me fuck up over and over and over again and still stuck by me. I’m thankful for everything in the world, really. Because I know that no matter who we are, it could all go away so very fast.
hoLy sHiT this guy was amazing. I thought, seeing @dearevanhansen again, that I would be completely fine and I wouldn’t burst into pathetic tears like the first time. Nope. Every laugh and every cry came back as touching as ever thanks to @andrewbfeldman_’s honest, funny, and meaningful performance. If you haven’t seen it, you need to, and if you’ve seen it, go see it again. This story is in awesome hands. #YouWillBarthFeld
Happy birthday to my best friend in the world since like day 380 or something because we really did not get along for over a year when we first met. You are the brightest star in the universe and I am so glad to have been able to see you evolve from a wee Pugsley to a grown Robert Martin. Despite our genuine lack of stage time together, you have always been my number one partner in crime. Proud of you always and so excited to see what your future holds 🤩🤩🤩
He’s a published writer and I can’t even Reed
Last night, I was lucky enough to go see Broadway’s bitingly timely new production of To Kill a Mockingbird in an effort to further stalk my dear friend Gideon. This production was damn near flawless. The script was brilliant and nuanced, adding so much to the story. The cast was perfect. So thankful I got to witness such beautiful tragedy and even more thankful that @gidglick had all the La Croix I needed. #MyMockingbird. I also don’t have eyes in this picture apparently. Credzzz: @bruglikas for @mockingbirdbway
I forgot to take a picture of the part where Ryan Gosling and I danced through the night, but LA is very pretty when you aren’t in a car.
How the BIG BOIS do it
Nothing but love for the soon-to-be birthday man. I couldn’t have asked for a better annual sleepover pal. Love you always, Shampoo!!
I’m so lucky that I got to spend Thanksgiving with the Beigel Schulman family. Love every minute I get over there. That being said, Linda gave me a “Team Beigel” hat and an old coat that she was going to give away this year, and upon arriving back at the apartment where I was staying, I realized that I looked like a Libertarian who owns 20 guns and voted for @ap4liberty
So thankful for all of these amazing people in my life. Love you guys so much happy turkey day 😍
THE BOIS R BACK
So this shit is up on @applepodcasts go download it if you really want to waste your precious time listening to my stupid voice
Guess where I’m spending the big 18!!! (I’m okay)
Swingin’ left with the BOYS #PENNSYLVANIAKIDZ
Politicon was great!
I’m pretty sure this is the restaurant from Pizzagate
On this young woman’s 17th birthday, I will refrain from citing Dancing Queen for the caption. But I will say that next to me is one of the most kind, compassionate, understanding, principled, resilient people I’ve ever been lucky enough to meet and every day one is lucky enough to spend with her is a blessing. Thank you for being by my side and keeping my stupid ass from doing stupid stuff for the past several years. Thank you for being my best friend through and through, even when it is particularly not easy (which is often.) The person you are at 17 is eons beyond anyone else, so I can only imagine what the next years will bring and I’m excited to watch you become a somehow even better person. You are a star and none of us deserve you. Happy birthday!!!
Thank you @buildseriesnyc for having me last night to talk about the importance of engaging the apathetic, opening conversations, and the incredible amount of work that was put into the making of Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War. #ThanosWasRight
Incredibly grateful that I got to sit down for a lovely panel with these great people to discuss the importance of community engagement and activism. The future is bright because of these four people who are infinitely more intelligent and capable than I am.
Someday, I will be as cool as Molly McNearney.
This young man’s first #Homecoming 😍
Goofy fellas 🇺🇸
Houston was awesome. Two more days in Texas and then on to New Mexico. #RoadToChange
A Lexcellent 4th of July