Daniel Cerejo Food thefatjewish - instagram lists #feedolist

foodys

This bias is unacceptable in 2019. @amazonprimevideo is the world’s first pro-goat streaming platform. #ad

thefatjewish

I sold my wine company @drinkbabe to the largest alcohol conglomerate in the world while wearing assless leather chaps to meetings and having one of the stupidest haircuts of all time. Anything is possible in 2019 you guys. No, but like seriously, fucking ANYTHING.

foodys

Moonshakes 🥰 @candyandcocoa

foodys

Would you try any of these? 🤔Comment below! #spam #subway #beyondmeat #oscarmayer #hotdogicecream

foodys

Dreamy Bacon Cheeseburger 😍 - @thejoshelkin

foodys

This is how my summer bod is goin'.... Cheese fries right to my thighs 😬 - @nonstopeats

foodys

Franks, Sriracha & Cholula 🙌.. in that order!

dcerejo

Stranger Things vibezzz 🚨

thefatjewish

2019 IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

dcerejo

How was Toy Story? It was great, I had a ball 🔵

dcerejo

Conhecem uma garrafeira…err…palmeira mais fresca do que esta? 🌴 + 🍾 = 😎 #casalgarciafreshred #otintoquesebebefresco #descomplica #hajaalegria #pub *Seja responsável. Beba com moderação.

dcerejo

🕷❤️”Peter Tingle”❤️🕷

dcerejo

É tinto. É fresco. É irresistível. E agora? 🤷🏻‍♂️ #casalgarciafreshred #otintoquesebebefresco #descomplica #hajaalegria #pub *Seja responsável. Beba com moderação.

FOODYS

Donut Chicken Sliders - Smash or Pass??? 🍩🍗 - @nyceeeeeats

FOODYS

If someone handed you a Cookie Dough Nutella Cone how would you thank them? (Best response will become apart of this caption). Comment below - @_emmasweet

FOODYS

This hits my childhood DEEEEP - @rbkbagel @thafoodheaven

FOODYS

Cookie Dough Sandwich 😫🍪 @sarahsfitfood

TheFatJewish

FUCK YES SUCK DICKS! Shouts to all my bears, wolves, otters, rats, pandas, bulls, cubs, circuit boys, closet jocks, twinks, twunks, drag queens, soft butches, stone butches, high femmes, lipstick lesbians, celesbians, diesel dykes, power bottoms, classic tops, verse boiiiis, leather daddys and everyone else in the rainbow THESE COLORS DON’T RUN #pride

dcerejo

Shoebacca

THEFATJEWISH

YOU’D BE ABLE TO POSTMATES IT AND HAVE IT DELIVERED WITH A PINT OF ICE CREAM, GUARANFUCKINGTEED.

THEFATJEWISH

MY MOM HAS BEEN DOING THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY FOR FREE FOR 40 FUCKING YEARS

dcerejo

🧝‍♀️

dcerejo

You babies out there, drive safely 🚒

dcerejo

Clark Can’t 🍆

FOODYS

Comment and tag a friend below 👇👇

dcerejo

<< 👉swipe👈 >> “We’re in the end game, now”, said Dr. Strange. And this is it. The last chance. The one in fourteen million six hundred and five. Will the heroes who remain be able to resurrect the vanished? Or will a new snap of fingers make everyone disappear for good? I can only tell you this: #AvengersEndgame will make you laugh, cry, scream and will shock you with so many surprises... I bet this could be the movie of your life ✨ #VingadoresEndgame #Marvel

FOODYS

Nutella Stuffed Churros! @sanchurro_rockingham

FOODYS

Black Ice Cream 🍦 @losangeles_eats

dcerejo

dcerejo

These hipsters and their pin rolled jeans, showing off their Monkey Shoulder bottles... 🥃👖 #monkeyshoulder #monkeyshoulderportugal #shoulderperspective #makeitmonkey

thefatjewish

I RECENTLY MET AN INFLUENCER MOM WHO IS PROMOTING “CBD EDAMAME FOR KIDS” AND AT THAT MOMENT I TRULY WISHED I HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND WOULD FORGET EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN ( @cxcope)

thefatjewish

I'm wayyyy too consistently stoned to keep all this fucking information straight, like TARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM, BROTHER AND UNCLE OF BARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM THE THIRD, RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF THE SECOND KINGDOM OF DRAGONWIG, OKKKK NERDS ( @eliasswakim)

thefatjewish

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE PLANS YOU MAKE WHILE PEAKING ON MOLLY AT SUNRISE DURING A DIPLO SET AREN’T ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN AND THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE EVER AGAIN. (Twitter: @hipstermermaid)

thefatjewish

SPOKE AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, WAS MOST LIKELY THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO WEAR REALTREE OVERALLS WITH NO SHIRT AND USE THE WORD “HANDJOB” THREE TIMES DURING A LECTURE. ME AND @anitaelberse (WHO IS AN ACTUAL LEGEND) TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, HOW WE BUILT @drinkbabe, AND THE TIME ME AND MADONNA PRANK CALLED BONO DURING A SLEEPOVER. AND TO ANYBODY OUT THERE WHO HAS A SICK BUSINESS IDEA, DM ME BECAUSE I WANT TO INVEST AND HELP YOU BUILD SO YOU GET RICH ENOUGH TO BUY A FALCON FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME @harvardhbs, MEMORIES WERE MADE.

thefatjewish

I’m garbage at listening, but I’m honestly amazing at guessing a white girl’s name. I can pick a Lauren out of a lineup. I can spot a Lindsay/Lindsey from a block away. I CAN CALL AN ALLIE/ALLY/ALY/ALI BY ONLY SEEING THE BACK OF HER FUCKING HEAD. It’s truly a gift. ( @saradesdinn)

foodys

🤤😍 - @nonstopeats

thefatjewish

MY WINE COMPANY @DRINKBABE IS CONSCIOUSLY COUPLING WITH THE FUCKING QUEEN, MY DEAR FRIEND/ BUSINESS GURU @EMRATA. LOOK FOR HER ON BILLBOARDS NATIONWIDE, STOMPING THROUGH CITIES LIKE GODZILLA IF GODZILLA HAD A MUCH BETTER BUTT

thefatjewish

*Names children Kayden, Jayden, Brayden, Ayden, Kaylen, Jadyn, Hayden, Peyton, Braedynn, Caiden, Zaidyn, Mackenzie, McKenna, Makayla, Jordynn and Kayleigh* (@versace_tamagotchi)

foodys

Cheese Pizza is a BIG vibe. What do you guys like on your pizza? 🍕 - Credit: @longisland via @hungrytasty @betterlatethanhungry

thefatjewish

HIM AND GWYNETH ON THE BOTTOM LEFT AS A LESBIAN COUPLE IN BROOKLYN WHO OWN A STORE THAT ONLY SELLS SCARVES FOR DOGS IS MY FAVE

thefatjewish

DRUNK ME RECENTLY BOUGHT SOBER ME 40 DVD COPIES OF “NATIONAL TREASURE.” I DON’T EVEN OWN A FUCKING DVD PLAYER.

thefatjewish

LAST WEEK SOMEONE I KNOW CANCELED THEIR 15-PERSON BIRTHDAY DINNER ON THE DAY OF AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE I HAD SHOT HEROIN

thefatjewish

ALL I FUCKING CARE ABOUT IS CARBS AND LIKE 3 PEOPLE

thefatjewish

STOP BLAMING ASTROLOGY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY JUST A HUGE BITCH

thefatjewish

SO MANY PEOPLE WORKING ON A “CLEAN EATING PLAN” RIGHT NOW THAT WILL LAST EXACTLY 27 DAYS

thefatjewish

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? @emrata

thefatjewish

SOME PEOPLE ARE AT WORK SOME PEOPLE ARE IN CABO SOME PEOPLE ARE DRUNK AT WORK, IT’S SO FUCKING CONFUSING WHAT ARE WE DOING

thefatjewish

I5 FUCKING PLANE TICKETS FROM CHICAGO TO PARIS, 10 PIZZAS, HOME ALONE DAD WAS BALLLLLINGGGGGGGG

thefatjewish

Not all heroes wear capes. Some are Armenian midgets who are slightly under the weather. ( @boujeeslut)

thefatjewish

So many $9 iced matchas, so little fucking income.

thefatjewish

“Grandpa, I’m a social media disruption specialist for a multi vertical gender fluid dating app!” said the 26 year old girl at Thanksgiving dinner to her grandfather who lost his hand in Korea and thinks Hillary Clinton worships Satan, who nods approvingly, yet is deeply confused and upset. ( @broazay)

thefatjewish

“White people love snitching so much, they invented yelp” - @desusnice

thefatjewish

HOLY FUCK THIS CANNOT BE UNSEEN ( @pizzaslime)

thefatjewish

THIS AIRPLANE PILOT IS VERY FUCKING GOOD AT HALLOWEEN

THEFATJEWISH

Wait, am I washed up because I’m worried that he’s ruining a cast iron pan with that sponge and the soap?? I NEED TO GO GET BLACKOUT DRUNK IMMEDIATELY AND RECLAIM MY FUCKING YOUTH.

thefatjewish

I WISH I WAS IN MYKONOS WITH LINDSAY LOHAN WATCHING HER DANCE ON ECSTASY IN A SILK ROMPER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK?

thefatjewish

Heyyyyyyy Russia, can you please stop trying to politically puppeteer us and maybe use all your teen hackers for some shit that we’d all actually be into? K THANKS BYEEEEE ( @samaranieves)

thefatjewish

One time I had unprotected sex with a white woman with dreadlocks who was a vegan, and she took a shit in my bathroom that literally smelled like a corpse filled with cabbage. Burned my eyes when I walked in there.

thefatjewish

The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit.

thefatjewish

I’m not gay, but fucking Joe Biden would be patriotic, right?

thefatjewish

Never fucking forget. #9/11

thefatjewish

Some girls want flowers. Some want ridiculously expensive sushi. SOME JUST WANT TO WANDER AROUND COSTCO SCARFING FREE SAMPLES @hinge

thefatjewish

I’m sure this comment section is going to be super fun and reasonable!

thefatjewish

ALSO, IF YOU GAVE IT SUNGLASSES I FUCKSSSSS WITH YOU. IF YOU PUT IT IN THE CENTER YOU’RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PSYCHO.

thefatjewish

Remember when the world was supposed to end in 2012? What happened to that? WHO FUCKED THAT UP

thefatjewish

2022: EVERYONE IS AN INFLUENCER (THOSE WITH UNDER 100 FOLLOWERS ARE REFERRED TO AS “NANO INFLUENCERS”), BUT NOBODY CAN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE.

thefatjewish

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE IN TAMPA WITH A HORRENDOUS LEG TATTOO WHO DOESN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD

thefatjewish

Hey guys, just a quick reminder that Blue Ivy’s life is sooooo much fucking better than yours. Have a great night peasants!

thefatjewish

I’ve been drinking rosé since 10:30, should I start drunk dialing celebrities I have in my phone? MICHAEL B JORDAN I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE DUDE

thefatjewish

People my age are having children on purpose and I still haven’t unpacked from a trip I took to Ibiza in fucking March. I got a UTI on that trip. ( @thekayanova)

thefatjewish

Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.

thefatjewish

Asians are soooooo future.

thefatjewish

TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER

thefatjewish

It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.

thefatjewish

I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS ( @doughbvy)

foodys

Which is your favorite cake? 😍 Follow me @Foodys for more! - 🎥: @cakes_mariamgevorgyan

foodys

Which is your favorite? 🤔 Comment below! - 🎥: @naturally.jo

foodys

Churro cones! 😍 Follow me @Foodys for more! - 🎥: @lafoodieguy

foodys

congrats to @scoobydoofruitsnacks for winning ‘best meme account of 2018’ 🎉😂

foodys

@humorsplug was voted ‘best meme account on Instagram’ 😂

thefatjewish

And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? ( @melecevida)

thefatjewish

I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.