To my home state of Georgia: You raised me, you made me who I am, and I love you unconditionally. Also, your #HeartbeatBill is heartbreakingly insane. This bill, HB 481, asserts complete power over Georgia women’s bodies while ignoring the very real complexities and difficulties surrounding reproductive health. Nobody likes abortions. But keeping them safe and accessible is fundamental to our shared health and safety, and a basic expression of trust and respect for all women. I have worked on three movies in Georgia with some of the best resources and crews imaginable. I love working there. I’ve been incredibly proud of Georgia’s growth in film production. But that production is entirely the result of generous tax incentives from the state government. The same state government that is now brutally undermining women’s health, safety and autonomy. Which is why, until the bill is gone, my production company will not be doing business in Georgia. For a better understanding of just how frightening this law is, I’ve pasted in 3 quotes from a SLATE magazine article titled: “Georgia Just Criminalized Abortion. Women Who Terminate Their Pregnancies Would Receive Life in Prison.” (link in bio) May 7, 2019 By: Mark Joseph Stern (1) “Anti-abortion advocates generally insist that they do not want to punish women who undergo abortions. But HB 481 does exactly that.” (2) “A woman who seeks out an illegal abortion from a health care provider would be a party to murder, subject to life in prison. And a woman who miscarries because of her own conduct—say, using drugs while pregnant—would be liable for second-degree murder, punishable by 10 to 30 years’ imprisonment. Prosecutors may interrogate women who miscarry to determine whether they can be held responsible; if they find evidence of culpability, they may charge, detain, and try these women for the death of their fetuses.” (3) “If a Georgia resident plans to travel elsewhere to obtain an abortion, she may be charged with conspiracy to commit murder, punishable by 10 years’ imprisonment.“
You’re welcome to try, but no caption can truly capture what’s happening in this photograph.
Today, on a long flight, I happened to watch @PixarCoco and ugly-cried HARD for a good 10 minutes. Lots of awkward looks from fellow passengers. Incredible movie. Then I remembered that time 8 years ago when @leeunkrich (who directed Coco) visited The Office and we chuckled about being doppelgängers. Too funny! And that got me nostalgic for the Office and all those wonderful times and now DAMMIT somebody pass me another hanky!!!
Growing a mustache for a movie role, and I find it legitimately hard not to make this face all day long.
Was sitting in gridlock LA traffic, stifling road-rage, when this fine fella rolled up next to me giving off some real good energy. Needless to say my day is going much better now. #thankyouzendog #realgoodenergy
Brody Stevens was kind to me when I first entered the New York comedy scene in the late 90’s. He helped make that intimidating world a little less scary. Later, when comedians were first getting websites, we were excited to add links to each other’s pages. It made us feel more legitimate. There were so many times in those early years that Brody made me cry with laughter - at places like The Gershwin Hotel, Surf Reality, Collective Unconscious and countless dive bar open-mics. He was a fixture in that community and it was so much richer for his presence. Later, when he joined the Hangover family, it was such a fun reunion of sorts. He’s touched so many lives and brought unbelievable amounts of laughter and light to the world. Brody, I’m so grateful that you shined some of your light on me. And I’m just so sorry you were in so much pain. You are one of the great comedic minds, a courageous and kind soul, and a cherished human being. #ripbrody For anyone reading this who might be in emotional distress, crisis, or contemplating suicide, please reach out to someone immediately. And if you feel like there’s nowhere else to turn, call this number: 1-800-273-8255 The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Link in bio as well.
HOLY SHIT WE WON!!! Just riding home with a few souvenirs from tonight’s #wgaawards...😜 So proud of the incredible “The Fake News with Ted Nelms” team!!!! Want to watch it? Link in bio 👍
Table 224 is The Fake News with Ted Nelms comedy writing dream team and we will KICK ANY OTHER TABLE’S ASS!! #wgaawards
En route to the #WritersGuildofAmerica Awards! Got my game face on. And also I hope I win a pony!!! —————— So proud to be nominated alongside the whole writing team for our @comedycentral special The Fake News with Ted Nelms!!!!
More fun press stuff here at #sundance promoting #corporateanimals Thanks @vulture for the spooky portrait! Mood: Salty Sea Captain
World Premier of #CorporateAnimals!!! Happening RIGHT NOW!! #Sundance Film Festival Unbelievable cast and crew on this movie!!
A word of caution: My hat game is VERY strong today. #Sundance #CorporateAnimals
Thank you @baristabrian for the phenomenal latte portrait! It enabled me to drink my own soul and now I have DOMINION OVER ALL MANKIND! (That or it’s sort of a Dorian Gray thing and now I’m just a wretched shell of a man...?) #Sundance #CorporateAnimals #gratuitousliteraryreference
Packing for #Sundance Film Festival. Can’t wait to screen our movie #CorporateAnimals! Obvious question: Should I bring my banjo?
45 is when your birthday cake starts to look like a dangerous weapon...
This Trump quote is exactly why these young Trump supporters, wearing their MAGA caps, think it’s perfectly okay to behave this way. We need leaders who know better and lead by example. #NathanPhillips, the Vietnam Veteran and Native American gentleman being harassed here (and somehow keeping his cool), is one such example we should all admire and learn from.
How can both of these fortunes be true???
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! 🦃 From 10 year old me at The Buckhorn Inn, Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Don’t believe me? Check the t-shirt... #Thanksgiving #StylishGlasses
Still buzzing from last night - So much fun seeing old friends at @nbcsnl - Steve and the amazing cast absolutely CRUSHED it! What a show! #SNL #BTS #OfficeReunion
Backstage at #SNL with a couple of my FAVORITE PEOPLE - Steve Carell hosting! What a night!!! #BTS #theoffice
When you’re trying to turn the volume down on your phone but your camera is open and you wind up taking 35 weird selfies. New headshot?
What a crew! All three Co-founders of @xyoraclenetwork Scott Scheper, Arie Trouw, and Markus Levin These guys are on to something BIG... #XYOSpatial event was epic 🤟 Thanks for having me and congrats! #XYO
Why did I put my “I VOTED” sticker on my mouth? Because your vote is your voice - USE IT!! (This post deserves a Pulitzer)
The Nard Dog will be very disappointed if you don’t VOTE! Not sure where to go? Check link in bio to find your local polling station 👍
#Repost @davidcebert ・・・ If people pay me $500 I will carve the entire principle cast of the movie TAG into pumpkins before Halloween. This includes Jon Hamm, Ed Helms, Hannibal Buress, The Guy From New Girl, and Isla Fisher. This does not include Rashida Jones. #tagpumpkin #pumpkintag #pumpkin #pumpkincarving #halloween #jeremyrenner #tag #fixcarving —————————— I just donated $199 to bring the total to $499 Who’s going to put us over the top???
Such a privilege to be a part of tonight’s Stand Up to Cancer telecast! DONATE NOW Call 888-90-STAND or visit standuptocancer.org
Happy Father’s Day to all of the amazing dad’s out there! Here’s mine rocking his trademark grin on my first birthday. So much of my sense of humor comes from my hilarious dad. Also this is when I discovered my love of cake. I still eat it the same way. Also note the giant dinner candle haphazardly jammed into the cake like a lawn dart. And the wallpaper. I sure miss the 70’s. #fathersday
Arguably the greatest lobby decoration of all time. I could easily eat that donut in one sitting. #grossbutamazing
Del McCoury is one of the MOST legendary bluegrassers out there, and he's still going strong, more than 50 years into his epic career. He’s got the biggest smile, best hair, and about the lonesomest voice you’ll ever hear! Love his new @delmccouryband album and that he's our Artist of the Month over at @thebluegrasssituation. #BGS #AOTM #DelMcCoury #rootscultureredefined