@carey.fiona baked us these homemade cookies and my family are o b s e s s e d 😍😍😍😍 Friends who feed you are the bestest friends! Thank you Fiona!
Spent the loveliest Irish afternoon with @carey.fiona and her beautiful family. I’ve known Fiona since 2015/2016, but this is the first time we’re meeting in real life. It’s amazing how many amazing connections we make on social media, and I’m grateful that Fiona is just as lovely in person as she is online ☺️ Thank you Fiona!
Last year I had the pleasure of meeting Rebekah Borucki / @bexlife in real life. We began chitchatting and I told her I had two children (that’s as many as I know I can handle :)). I asked her how many children she had. She answered “Five”. “FIVE?!” I repeated in shock. “But how?? And how are you not falling apart??” I was in complete awe of this mama, and was so curious to know her secrets of managing it all. Well, Rebekah has answered that question by writing an amazing new book about it - Managing the Motherload. And today is her book’s birthday! ••• If you’re new to Rebekah’s work, let me tell you a little bit about her. In addition to being a mother of five, she is also a TV host, a meditation and yoga guide, a birth doula, and the author of You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life: Simple 4-Minute Meditations for Inspiration, Transformation, and True Bliss. Her mission is to make mental health support and stress management tools accessible to all, especially BIPOC (Black and Indigenous People of Color), LGBTQ+ folks, and other marginalized communities. ••• In Managing the Motherload Rebekah shares a practical system to navigate the big and small trials of motherhood—filled with tears, tantrums, and other messes—without any of the guilt, resentment, and burnout. She also teaches you how to celebrate the tiny triumphs and find calm in the chaos. Her system consists of five phases that build upon the wisdom of nature. The tools, stories, and exercises Rebekah offers will support you through almost anything mom life throws your way. You’ll learn how to prioritize self-care, combat the negative messages from your inner critic, and take care of your body by establishing a sleep routine, healthy diet, meditation practice, and more with ease. ••• Get your copy of this incredible book at MotherloadBook.com, as well as some really amazing bonuses. And please share this book with any mamas who you think could really benefit from what Rebekah has so lovingly (and honestly) put together. Congratulations Rebekah!!!!
Here’s something you don’t know about me - every morning I wake up with anxiety. Every morning, as soon as I open my eyes, the first feelings I feel are: fear, sadness, stuckness, panic and overwhelm. This isn’t a recent phenomenon for me. I’ve had this for years and years. Sometimes it’s more acute than others (depending on what’s going on in my life). But it’s always there at some level regardless of the actual circumstances of my daily life. Including on this joy-and-fun-filled family trip. ••• I share this not for sympathy or to receive unsolicited health advice (please don’t give me any unsolicited advice - whether here or through DM. I will be starting therapy soon and I look forward to getting the support I need). I share this because I want to be clear that all the joy-filled posts you see me sharing - I *work* for that joy everyday. It’s a deliberate, intentional, focused choice and practice. Every morning I have to drag myself out of the scary place my mind actually starts in. Sometimes it takes an hour. Sometimes all day. But each morning I try again. ••• What this trip has done for me is given me a training ground to get more serious about that practice. To get more serious about... joy! Not in a militant way, but with a sense of discipline about taking responsibility for the way I am in relationship with myself. This isn’t a commentary on anyone else’s journey or on mental health in general. I just wanted to give you some insight into what I experience - the fullness of my human experience. The flip side of all the joyful posts you see me share is that I struggle with mental health. The flip side of all my joy is my fear. Both exist. And that’s why I don’t take my joy for granted. And why I’m so strong on my boundaries. I don't easily give away that which I have to work every day to have. Joy for me isn’t an accident, and it isn’t given to me. It is a choice, it is a practice, it is self-generated, and it is mine.
Turns out the hotel I booked for us in Dublin was just around the corner from a house my husband used to live in before he knew me and I blessed his life 😂😝
A quick and important reminder that I’ll be joining @catriceology for her 2nd annual one-day racial justice conference #FollowBlackWomenConference in St. Paul, Minneapolis on Saturday 19th October 2019. Registration is open to purchase your ticket to this live event where I will be speaking alongside @rachelcargle, @dartgirl88, @healwithsounds and Catrice Jackson. This conference is for every woman passionate about and committed to racial justice and racial equity especially for black women. All women are invited to join us at this event. This conference is for women leaders, entrepreneurs, career women, business owners, and social and racial justice activists. ••• Click the link in my bio to read more about the conference and purchase your ticket. I hope to see you there!
Can you believe we fly home in 3 days? 😩😍😭☺️
A lesson in courage from my 9 year old. She went on this ride alone because my husband and I are too scared to go on big rides like this. She *loves* them. Next time I’m scared of doing something I’m going to remember these words: “I feel like I can do anything!” and “That was scary, but FUN!”. P.S. After this and inspired by Maya, she convinced me to go on two scary rides with her. I screamed and laughed my way through the first one. I closed my eyes tight on the second, and then half way through decided to open my eyes and ended up having the most fun time. My daughter is raising me to be a brave woman!
EID MUBARAK from beautiful Ireland! We spent this afternoon trekking forests and around a lake in Waterford. This was definitely one of the highlights of our trip, and an amazing way to celebrate Eid Al-Adha. Wishing all my Muslim siblings a blessed Eid ⭐️
British weather ☔
Wicked! Second time for me, first time for my family 💚
Brunch with besties 🥞
Today was a good day ☺️
Sister from another mister @_zaikhan ☺️
Him: Act casual Me: 🙈🙈🙈
Summers in London are my fave 😍
“I am the Nala, sister of Naruba Osun, Queen Sheba, I am the mother Ankh on my gold chain, ice on my whole chain I be like soul food, I am a whole mood” - @beyonce
Home. Or something like it 😝
Au revoir, France! It’s been real. Next? Off to our home that isn’t really home but is home. #thirdculturekidproblems
Today I got to meet one of my favourite people - @jamiaawilson, and her wonderful friend Jazz. They are both third culture kids/adults like me (Google this term if you’re not sure what it is) - so the conversation was rich, warm and nourishing. And as it is whenever you spend time with inspiring people, I left our time together buzzing with inspiration for what I believe will be my next book :) ••• I’m so grateful that Jamia and I happened to be in Paris at the same time and we were able to make time to meet up 😍 If you haven’t already done so, make sure to check out episode 5 of @goodancestorpodcast where I interviewed Jamia. It was such a beautiful conversation that I am honoured to have held space for. Also, check out Jamia’s books: “Young, Gifted and Black”, Road Map for Revolutionaries”, and “Step Into Your Power”.
Found a bookstore I wanted to spend an entire day in. Alas, I only had 10mins. Picked up the book I had been hoping to buy at the start of this holiday. Can’t wait to dive in to #CityofGirls @elizabeth_gilbert_writer 😍
Queen of my castle 🏰
We came, we saw, we Disney-ed! ☀️
BLACK JOY ALL DAY EVERYDAY #nottodaysatan 🦁
Following on from my last post, and as a reminder that I don’t do any more free emotional labour in my anti-racism work, I’m reposting my book to remind people with white privilege that the way to learn how to do better is to actually do the work. In #MeandWhiteSupremacy I lay out a tested, effective and transformational process to show you how to do the work. I did *all* the emotional labour I am ever going to do upfront when I hosted the free #MeandWhiteSupremacy IG challenge (with thousands of participants), and published the free #MeandWhiteSupremacy Workbook (downloaded by more than 90,000 people, and brought into homes, workplaces, educational institutions, non-profits, spiritual spaces, event spaces and more). You can also learn a lot from listening to my free podcast @goodancestorpodcast. Me and White Supremacy is now available for pre-order and will be published on 4 February 2020. Buy the book. Share the book. Do the work. Link in my bio or visit www.meandwhitesupremacybook.com.
Travelling while Black is a trip. My husband and I have been really aware of being the only Black people or some of the only Black people in spaces we’ve entered into since we started our vacation over a week ago. We noticed some minor microaggressions in some places we’ve entered into, but just chose to ignore it. Until today. ••• This morning while having breakfast at our hotel, my daughter asked if she could have some more toast with Nutella. I told her to go get some, but then after a few minutes decided to go check on her because I knew that people would probably see this little Black girl in the queue and skip right over her. While standing in the queue with her waiting for the white man ahead of us to finish toasting his bread, a white woman holding a place of croissants tried to sidle her way in between us and the man. I sidled myself and Maya closer to the man to indicate we were next in line. She drew in closer. So I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back at me. I said to her, “Do you want to use the toaster?”. She said yes. I said politely and with a smile, “There’s actually a queue, we are next in line,” while pointing behind us. She looked at me in surprise and said, “Ahh! Sorry,” and moved behind us. I thought that would be the end of it. A misunderstanding that’s all (I know I’ve done that plenty of times myself - not realising there’s a line of people waiting). ••• Then the man in front of us tells us that he’s almost done toasting his bread and we can put ours in if we want to. And that’s where it happens. As I go to grab the bread from the bread basket to put into the toaster, the same white woman behind us REACHES OVER US AND PUTS HER CROISSANTS IN THE TOASTER BEFORE I CAN GET OUR BREAD IN. I look at her in complete disbelief and angrily say, “What are you doing?! Didn’t I just say there’s a queue and we were next??” She looks at me apologetically as if she a) doesn’t know how queues work, b) didn’t see us patiently waiting for the man ahead of us to finish and c) doesn’t recall that JUST 2mins ago I explained to her that we were next in the line. The whole time Maya is looking at me like — why did that woman just do that? (Continued below)
black woman (noun) 1. what occurs when the sun and the earth make love. ••• Repost @21ninety
This week we’re in Paris and we’re staying at one of the hotels near Disneyland. You know, the kind of hotels that you would only go to if you have young kids? The entire hotel is pirate themed, and everything is catered to kids. ••• The mother in me is elated that my kids are going to have the time of their lives. This will be a week they will always remember. The highly sensitive introvert in me however is struggling with sensory overload. I’m currently in the hotel room while my husband and kids are at the (very loud, very busy, very pirate-themed) pool. I’m sure the introverted parents can relate! ••• Just as I was starting to wonder how I’m going to make sure I continue to enjoy this week and not get into a grumpy introvert mood, my inner little girl said: “Don’t worry, we got this. Just trust me! This holiday is about having fun, remember? So let’s have fun! I’ll show you how. You get to define what fun is for you. And when you get tired, you can take a break. It’s all good. We’ve got this!” ••• I’ve put so much focus on healing my inner little girl, that I forgot that a huge part of my healing is letting her heal me! Perhaps this week is about expanding just how much capacity I allow myself to have fun like a kid. This week is about letting my inner little girl lead the way, while I, the grown woman, hold boundaries for my self-care as and when needed. ••• P.S. Yes I’m a skincare addict 🤷🏽♀️
Bonjour, Paris! 🇫🇷
One way that this trip is healing me is that it is teaching me the skill of receiving. I have a terrible habit of doing what @brenebrown calls “foreboding joy”. For me, that comes from believing that my identities and experiences mean that I am not worthy of receiving joy and experiencing goodness without something bad happening in return. I am often expecting anything good that I am given to be taken away, because internalised racial oppression has taught me that I’m less worthy of receiving than everyone else. It feels like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when things are going really well. And in recent months this habit has become worse after facing one of my worst nightmares, and having the other shoe actually drop. ••• But taking this month-long trip, eating pizza, pasta and gelato for 7 days straight, and allowing my inner little girl to have fun is doing wonders for me. I am already noticing myself giving myself permission to receive joy, abundance, fun, support and love with greater ease than I ever have before. I’m not foreboding joy. I’m expecting joy. I’m expecting good things to happen to me and for me. And when they do I’m saying thank you to God. Every night I’m going to bed with my heart full of gratitude. ••• This doesn’t mean my life is all peachy now, and bad things or bad moods will never happen. Life is chaotic and unpredictable by its very nature. And being human means being complex and complicated. But, I believe I am learning to stop adding to that chaos by frightening myself with my negative self-talk. I’ve been actively catching myself in my self-talk over this last week and noticing myself changing what I’m saying to myself much faster than I have been able to before. My old self-talk tapes aren’t working the same anymore. I can see the lie that tells me I’m not good enough. The veil is falling. I’m healing that part of my internalised racial oppression that says I’m bad and deserve bad. I’m seeing that I am enough, and that I deserve all the good things that life has to offer - just like everyone else. I’m looking forward to seeing what healing this next part of our trip brings me. Ciao, Italy! You’ve been amazing!
Mood after spending a week in Rome. Black joy is beautiful 💛
Our last full day in Rome has been a good one 😍
Them: Who does she think she is? Me: I am God’s miracle. My own best thing. My mother’s hope. My father’s pride. My husband’s love. My children’s joy. My sisters’ keeper. My brothers’ uplifter. My ancestors’ wildest dreams. Powerful. Deep. Funny. Kind. Creative. Fierce. A student. A teacher. Black & Muslim. Love. Joy. Anger. Fear. Successes & Failures. A self-defined entity. My own sovereign authority. THAT bitch. A grown ass woman. A trailblazer. A legacy-builder. A human being figuring it out as I walk my path. More than enough. Melanated magic. Unlimited in my complexity. A whole mood. Unapologetic in all of it. I am me. I AM Layla Saad. Now it’s your turn. Tell them. Who are YOU?
I asked to be used as a vessel in service to healing. I asked to be shown how to use my gifts for the greater good. I asked to have my fears overcome so that I could get out of my own way and step into my purpose. My prayers were answered. They continue to be answered. I continue to pray.
Listennnn!! This is the season of life I’m in. Come with me or let me be. ••• 📷: @a_mustard_seed_faith, brought to me by my cousin @leorisingyoga 🦁
Happy Father’s Day to the two most important men in my life, and the best fathers I know ❤️
My boy turned 5 a few weeks ago and I don’t understand how because I still remember him sleeping like this every single day and night from the day we brought him home from the hospital, leaving me perpetually sleep-deprived for 3 years 😩
Tell me something you love about your Creativity. ••• I’ll go first: I love the way I weave words to inspire, move, activate, connect and heal. I love the way I use colours in makeup and fashion to delight and express myself. I love experiencing my unique sense of creativity.
We continue to stand with our human family in Sudan. I’ve added a story highlight to my profile page featuring information and calls to action that we can all take. I’ll continue to add to it as we receive more information - which is hard as there is an internet blockage right now. Sending so much love to the Sudanese people, we are with you. Please follow: @hadyouatsalaam @yousraelbagir @marwanonthemoon @yassmin_a @bsonblast @ehabthebeast @khalidalbaih
I am so looking forward to joining @catriceology for her 2nd annual one-day racial justice conference #FollowBlackWomenConference in St. Paul, Minneapolis on Saturday 19th October 2019. Registration is open to purchase your ticket to this live event where I will be speaking alongside Rachel Cargle, Sandy Broadus, Fawntice Finesse and Catrice Jackson. This conference is for every woman passionate about and committed to racial justice and racial equity especially for black women. All women are invited to join us at this event. This conference is for women leaders, entrepreneurs, career women, business owners, and social and racial justice activists. ••• Click the link in my bio to read more about the conference and purchase your ticket. I hope to see you there!
You know what time it is 🥰
Tell me something you love about your Courage. ••• I’ll go first: I love that I’ve always had the courage to look at my scary and painful emotional wounds, and that throughout the years I’ve pulled myself out of the darkest places of fear, unworthiness, self-loathing and grief. I love that I know that I can trust myself to show up courageously in the face of my fears - even if I need to take my time to get there as I move through all my fears. I love that my level of courage continues to grow as I grow. I love that I have the courage to use my voice, show my heart, create and share my work, make my own choices and be seen for who I am. I love and respect myself for being a courageous woman.
Friday mood 🦋
E I D 🎉
E I D 🎉
Eid Mubarak, from me and my family to you and yours! 🌙
Good morning 👸🏽