thefatjewish Daniela Ruah Makeup Clips - instagram lists #feedolist

danielaruah

In the last few months I have been making an effort to wear and support sustainable brands that are helping our planet become a cleaner and better place. One such brand is @zouriveganshoes . They collect plastic from beaches in Portugal and turn it into comfortable and durable shoes! . Nos últimos meses tenho tentado encontrar marcas amigas do ambiente, que ajudam a tornar o planeta menos poluído e melhor. Uma dessas marcas é a @zouriveganshoes :) apanham plástico das nossas praias Portuguesas e transformam-no em sapatos comfortáveis e duradores! . #sustainable #sustainability #earth #shoes #vegan #planet #portugal #beach #praia #noplastic #clean

thefatjewish

I sold my wine company @drinkbabe to the largest alcohol conglomerate in the world while wearing assless leather chaps to meetings and having one of the stupidest haircuts of all time. Anything is possible in 2019 you guys. No, but like seriously, fucking ANYTHING.

danielaruah

Sometimes you buy the tshirt because you like their public persona. Other times you buy the tshirt after you’ve met them, because you really like who they actually are. Until our next encounter @goldberg95 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 Ás vezes compramos a tshirt porque gostamos da imagem de uma pessoa. Outras vezes compramos a tshirt porque conhecemos a pessoa e passámos a gostar muito dela. Até ao nosso próximo encontro #billgoldberg . @ncisla #ncisla #wwe @wwe #wrestler #lancehamilton #partners #tshirt #lift #fun #bts #lucky

DanielaRuah

I see you weekend... wait for me right there please. 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞 Estou-te a ver fim‑de‑semana... espera aí por mim por favor. . #trailer #summervibes #workvibes #friday #tgif #happy @ncisla #ncisla #hat #sun

DanielaRuah

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition” -Monty Python . #handstand #badguydidntexpectthis @ncisla #ncisla #gear #tacgear #kensiblye #specialagentatwork

DanielaRuah

So this happened this week... my brain is full of excitement, my heart is a little sad and my body wishes it could still carry them in my womb... my independent little girl did not cry or whine or worry when we dropped her off on her first day of pre school, although mama surely hid a few tears as she walked out the door. I could not be more proud of my little girl and her wonderfully loving protective older brother who even offered to carry her stuff♥️ . Portanto isto aconteceu esta semana... o meu cérebro está entusiasmado, o meu coração está triste e o meu corpo quer voltar a tê-los dentro do ventre... a minha filhota independente não chorou nem fez birra quando a deixámos na escola no seu primeiro dia, apesar da mamã ter escondido uma ou outra lágrima. Não podia estar mais orgulhosa da minha filha e do seu mano incrivelmente amável e protector, que ainda se ofereceu para lhe carregar as coisas ♥️ . #firstdayofschool #littlesister #bigbrother #kids #mine #mama #dada #family #growing #team #school #excited #love #grateful #thankful #agradecida #miudos #filhotes #crianças #irmãos #siblings #motherhood #fatherhood

danielaruah

Heading home from San Diego after an incredible experience. We stood in the midst of families & friends of brilliant young men graduating from arduous training. A beautiful feeling of unity, team work and celebration... congrats boys! ♥️ . Regressando a casa de San Diego após uma experiência incrível. Estive ao lado de famílias e amigos de jovens homens brilhantes que se graduaram de um treino intensivo. Uma sensação bonita de união, trabalho de equipa e celebração... Parabéns rapazes! ♥️ . #coronado #sandiego #kids #family #soyouwannabeafrogman #military #navy #teamwork #unity #celebration

danielaruah

Daddy at a reunion + kids asleep = mommy drinking wine and eating cheesecake in the hotel bathroom #youstayclassysandiego . Quando o maridão está em reunião + as crianças a dormir = mamã a beber vinho e a comer bolo na casa de banho do hotel. #ésóclasse . #ronburgundy #coronado #sandiego #weekendgetaway #cheesecake #wine #vinho #bathroom #wc #momlife

danielaruah

☀️Good morning 🌞 . ☀️Bom dia🌞 . #goodmorning #bomdia #kids #lucky #mama #grateful #happy #nosekisses #beijocasnonariz #siblings #manos #blackandwhite #brother #sister #riverisaac #sierraesther #matchingtshirts #stripes #riscas #blondies

danielaruah

“I’m tough” I said, “Do whatever you need to do” I said... “Will it hurt?” I asked... (*1st needle in*) “F*************ck!!!!” I also said. . “Sou forte” disse eu. “Faz o que tens a fazer” disse eu. “Vai doer?” Perguntei (*enfia a primeira agulha*) “F*************sse” disse eu também. . @bodylogicsportstherapy #DrBrettDarrington #plantarfasciitis #gettingbackonmyfeet #

danielaruah

So, in the last few days that little number at the top of my profile page hit 1 MILLION! 🤯 WOW! 1,000,000 THANK YOU’s to each and every one of you for stickin’ around... let’s keep flying ♥️ . 📸 @miguelangelostudio . Nos últimos dias aquele número no topo do meu perfil atingiu 1 MILHÃO! 🤯 UAU! 1,000,000 de obrigadas a cada um de vocês por me acompanharem... vamos continuar a voar ♥️

danielaruah

Mama bear and a cub 🐻 . Mamã e a filhota 🐻 . #minime #Sierraesther #gettingbig #wydaho #blondie #family #vacation #snuggles

danielaruah

Olha nois Mena! Obrigada pela nomeação e de me porem ao lado de gente tão boa ♥️♥️♥️ . Look its us Mena! Thank you for the nomination and for putting me next to such wonderful people♥️♥️♥️ . @filomenacautela @dailycristina @dichavesofficial @vascopalmeirim @sicoficial #goldenglobe #globodeouro #nomination #nomeação #portugal

danielaruah

I miss you Portugal & Idaho, but after almost 3 months away from home, returning feels miiiiighty good... 15hr road trip with 2 kids and 2 dogs and everyone crushed it. Good job hubby for driving the whole time, good job kids behaving the whole time and good job me being a human pantry. . Tenho saudades vossas Portugal e Idaho, mas ao fim de quase 3 meses fora de casa, regressar sabe muuuuuito bem. Terminámos a nossa aventura de 15hrs seguidas na estrada com duas crianças e dois cães. Muito bem maridão por conduzires o tempo todo, muito bem miúdos por se portarem bem o tempo todo, e muito bem eu por ser uma dispensa humana. . #roadtrip #familyroadtrip #kids #mom #dad #15hours #backhome #snuggle #tired #happy #grateful #homesweethome #lifeisgood #feliz #cansada #satisfeita #regressoacasa

thefatjewish

2019 IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

danielaruah

We watch our kids in formation... Mom squad alert 🚨 . @nikkireed & @swrightolsen . Vigiamos os miúdos em formação... Alerta para a Equipa Mamã 🚨 . #teamonesie #onesie #natureliving #outdoorvibes #mountains #lakes #greattimes #family #friends #vacation #relax #zen #fun #happy #grateful #momsquad #rompers #mompers 😂 @yourzenmama @bayouwithlove @baeobaby

danielaruah

My first time mountain biking and I loved every second, even when I ate it at the end of a trail by hitting the front break too hard 😂 ya live and ya learn... As the wise Dory once said “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...” 🐠 right @theellenshow ??? Foi a minha primeira vez a descer uma montanha de bicicleta e adorei cada momento, mesmo quando voei por cima da bicicleta ao pressionar o travão da frente com demasiada força 😂 vivemos e aprendemos... como disse a grande Dory “continua a nadar, continua a nadar...” 🐠 não é #ellendegeneres ?? . #mountainbiking #date #hubby #ustime #adventure #aventura #grandtarghee #bike #trysomethingnew #fall #scrapes #scratches #justkeepswimming #canwegoagainalready #pads #helmet #trail

danielaruah

Ainda só passaram 2 semanas desde que partimos de Portugal, mas já tenho saudades dos meus dois ♥️ . Its only been 2 weeks since we left Portugal, but I already miss my two ♥️ . #mom #dad #parents #home #portugal #family

danielaruah

💖 La vie en rose 💖 . . . #daddy #sierraesther #daughter #daddyandme #fatheranddaughter #family #love #tetongravityresearch #hats #hammock #tetonvillage

danielaruah

#Idaho #jump series #2 . #saltos em Idaho #2

danielaruah

Outdoor concert vibes... . A vibrar num concerto ao ar livre... . #idaho #family #kids #hubby #vacation #rest #descanso #férias #filhos #família #maridão #concert #concerto

danielaruah

Doin’ that nature thing... . Fazendo aquelas coisas da Natureza... . #hike #caminhada #nature #natureza #beauty #beleza #kids #miúdos #siblings #happy #feliz #família #family #riverisaac #sierraesther #grandtarghee

danielaruah

Inspired by our Women’s Soccer Team? Go ladies! . Inspiradas pela nossa equipa de futebol feminina? Bora senhoras! . #soccer #cousins #primas #sierraesther #esmeolivia @swrightolsen @ericcolsen #idaho #womenssoccer #girlpower @uswnt

danielaruah

#Idaho #jumps series #1 . #Salto Idaho #1

danielaruah

Happy 4th of July! 🇺🇸 #parade #usa #unclesam #kids #family #friends #holiday #independence #Idaho

danielaruah

Mine mine & mine. . Meu, meu e minha. . #vacation #férias #riverisaac #sierraesther #daveolsen #hubby #family #hangingout

danielaruah

One last beautiful sunset after dinner, looking out into the Atlantic... See you soon Portugal, it was harder than usual to leave. . Um último pôr do sol depois de jantar, a observar o Atlântico... até breve Portugal, é mais difícil deixar-te desta vez. . @bmwportugal #kids #sunset #cascais #portugal #car #seeyousoon #atéjá

danielaruah

If it were up to me, every day would be about Pride. Proud to be myself, proud to see the LGBTQ+ community openly and freely celebrate who they are, how they want to be referred to and who they choose to love. I’m proud of every person who fought adversity and thrived and I’m proud of every family, friend and stranger who embraced someone when they needed it the most. #pridemonth #loveislove 🏳️‍🌈 #beyourself

danielaruah

É difícil exprimir aquilo que sinto no meu último dia de rodagem para A Espia. Não há palavras em linguagem nenhuma que recriem com justiça o que me vai na alma... nestas últimas semanas trabalhei com um grupo de actores, técnicos e produção que se tornou muito mais que uma equipa. Tornou-se família. Noitadas a trabalhar, cansaço, exaustão, gargalhadas bem grandes, atrofios, partilhas de histórias e experiências, mas acima de tudo: carinho e respeito uns pelos os outros, e pelo projecto. A equipa técnica é pequena, com pessoal a fazer o trabalho de duas ou três pessoas, mas sempre de boa vontade e sorriso na cara. A realização e fotografia lindíssimas, assistentes de realização e produção com paciência infinita, já para não falar do guarda roupa e cabelo e maquilhagem que nos criaram a pele das personagens... e o elenco... poderia escrever um capítulo de um livro sobre cada um. O vosso talento infinito, o companheirismo e o dar e receber de emoções fictícias e verdadeiras... aprendi muito e saio daqui preenchida. Deixo-vos de lágrimas nos olhos, mas a sorrir por saber que fizemos um trabalho do caraças. Obrigada. Não consigo esperar até verem o que fizemos♥️ . @a_espia #aespia #24land @ukbarfilmes #bts #workingmama #thatsawrap #portugal #spain #galicia #team #crew #lovewhatIdo (English translation in comment section)

danielaruah

@a_espia #squad . @mariajoao.bastos @verounaover @afonso.lagarto @adrianocarvalho_c #work #bts #lunchtime #workfamily

danielaruah

Santiago de Compostela, it’s lovely to meet you. . Santiago de Compostela, é um prazer conhecer-te. . #galícia #encantada @a_espia #workingmama #praçadoobradoiro #beautiful #monument

danielaruah

Mine. ♥️ Meus. . #family #kids #workingmama #familybreak #riverisaac #sierraesther #daveolsen #belatedanniversary #us #mine #vilanovadegaia #saojoao

danielaruah

Rehearsing with the finest gentlemen . Ensaiando com estes grandes senhores . @diogomorgado @jorgepaixaodacosta1 #luckygirl #sortuda #siegfried e #mariajoão @a_espia @ukbarfilmes #lovewhatIdo #bts 📸 Leonel de Castro

danielaruah

Supimpos. @diogomorgado @mariajoao.bastos @a_espia @ukbarfilmes #Rose #Siegfried #MariaJoão

danielaruah

Playtime . 📸 @davidchancordeiro @a_espia #handstand #heels #denim

danielaruah

Thing 1 and Thing 2 . #myhearts #kids #filhotes #cubs #beach #figueiradafoz #riverisaac #sierraesther #workingmama #praia #portugal

danielaruah

And Happy Father’s Day (US) to my red headed Viking . E feliz Dia do Pai (EUA) ao meu Viking ruivo . #hubby #maridão #viking #dada #kids #family #lucky #fathersday #daddyandme #love

danielaruah

Happy Father’s Day (US) to this wonderful man! Best pops I could ask for... And no I was not raised by Freddie Mercury. . Feliz Dia do Pai (EUA) a este maravilhoso homem! O melhor pai para mim... e não, não cresci com o Freddie Mercury. . #fathersday #pops #dad #pai #paizão #daughter #fatheranddaughter #parents

danielaruah

📸 by River . #photography #blackandwhite #grandma #sierraesther #photo #family #kids #talent #iphone

danielaruah

Pencil us in. . Ponham na agenda. . #ncisla @ncisla #season11 #whaaaat @llcoolj @chrisodonnell @ericcolsen

danielaruah

Hush hush... . #rose #mariajoão @a_espia @ukbarfilmes @mariajoao.bastos #bts #filming #tv #work #1940s

danielaruah

This crazy girl (me) decided to work on her time off... Literally couldn’t do it without my mama. Is she just fulfilling the role of a grandma? Maybe... She just does it so damn well. . Esta maluca (eu) decidiu trabalhar nas férias... Literalmente, não o podia ter feito sem a minha mamã. Está apenas a preencher o papel de avó? Talvez... É só que ela fá-lo TÃO bem caraças. - #myrock #grandma #grateful @catlikob #avó #luckiestkids #luckydaughter #lucky

danielaruah

River: Mama can I make your latte? Me: Sure! Results: 🦆 ♥️☕️♥️☕️♥️☕️♥️☕️♥️☕️♥️ River: Mama posso fazer o teu galão? Eu: podes! Resultado: 🦆 - #son #mama #coffee #latte #galão #duck #pato #kids #mornings #love

danielaruah

And that’s a wrap on this cutie patootie playing my daughter in @a_espia @matilde_serrao_oficial you rock! Soooo if you’re done filming does that mean I can kiss ya face with my red lipstick??? 💄💋 . E terminaram os dias de gravação desta fofa querida que faz de minha filha em #aespia #matildeserrão és a maior! Portaaanto, como acabaste de gravar já te posso dar beijocas na cara com batom vermelho??? 💄💋 . #kids #motheranddaughter #mariajoão #teresinha #24land #bts #portugal #palaciodequeluz #red #lips #baton #rouge #lipstick #cheeks

danielaruah

Introducing Mr Richard Thompson in @a_espia ... the glorious @verounaover ! . Introduzindo o Sr Richard Thompson em #aespia... o glorioso @verounaover . #bts @ukbarfilmes #spies #1940s #marcodalmeida #portugal #24land #filming #tv #actors #play

danielaruah

Happy #humpday ! Mommy isn’t the only one workin’ this summer... Letters, numbers, legos and pancakes for the little guy. #kindergartenprep 😲 — Boa 4a! A mamã não é a única a trabalhar este verão... Letras, números, legos e panquecas para este miúdo. #preparaçãoparaaprimária 😲 . #riverisaac #son #minidaddy #mama #mornings #letters #numbers #breakfast #happy #breakfromwork

danielaruah

Paper boys. - Os ardinas. - @a_espia @ukbarfilmes

danielaruah

Sunday beach continued. BFFs, kids and grandma bear. Life is good. - Domingo de praia continuado. BFFs, crianças e vovózona. A vida é bela. . @moicestmoo @catlikob @anabeckerweinberg @_joaobelo_ @chiccoportugal #cresmina #cascais #portugal #workingvacay #family #friends #childhoodfriends #siblings #sistersfromanothermister #beach #relax #life #happy #love

danielaruah

Today was a good day. A very good day. 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞 Hoje foi um dia bom. Um dia muito bom. - #praia #beach #friends #family @catlikob #diadacriança #win #kids #elevate #sunday #weekendvibes #bikini @chiccoportugal #chicco #son #riverisaac #portugal #cascais #parenting #mommyandme

TheFatJewish

FUCK YES SUCK DICKS! Shouts to all my bears, wolves, otters, rats, pandas, bulls, cubs, circuit boys, closet jocks, twinks, twunks, drag queens, soft butches, stone butches, high femmes, lipstick lesbians, celesbians, diesel dykes, power bottoms, classic tops, verse boiiiis, leather daddys and everyone else in the rainbow THESE COLORS DON’T RUN #pride

danielaruah

After a looooong day of cousins and sunshine, all hands on deck for sleepy heads in the elevator... . Após um loooongo dia de primos e sol, toda a ajuda é pouca para estes dorminhocos no elevador... . #vovó #kids #grandma #mama #weekend #fds #riverisaac #sierraesther #siblings #elevator #workingvacay #family #summer #june #teamwork @catlikob

danielaruah

The way you sit when you reeeally need to pee... But also, keepin’ it classy. . Como te sentas quando precisas mesmo de fazer chichi... mas também quando tens de ser fina finíssima . @a_espia @ukbarfilmes #bts #setlife #workingmama #1940 #portugal #workingvacay

danielaruah

Survival methods between takes. . Métodos de sobrevivência entre filmagens. . @luisaortigoso @mariacostas.cantactriz @carmensantos2451 @ukbarfilmes @a_espia

THEFATJEWISH

YOU’D BE ABLE TO POSTMATES IT AND HAVE IT DELIVERED WITH A PINT OF ICE CREAM, GUARANFUCKINGTEED.

THEFATJEWISH

MY MOM HAS BEEN DOING THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY FOR FREE FOR 40 FUCKING YEARS

thefatjewish

I RECENTLY MET AN INFLUENCER MOM WHO IS PROMOTING “CBD EDAMAME FOR KIDS” AND AT THAT MOMENT I TRULY WISHED I HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND WOULD FORGET EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN ( @cxcope)

thefatjewish

I'm wayyyy too consistently stoned to keep all this fucking information straight, like TARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM, BROTHER AND UNCLE OF BARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM THE THIRD, RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF THE SECOND KINGDOM OF DRAGONWIG, OKKKK NERDS ( @eliasswakim)

thefatjewish

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE PLANS YOU MAKE WHILE PEAKING ON MOLLY AT SUNRISE DURING A DIPLO SET AREN’T ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN AND THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE EVER AGAIN. (Twitter: @hipstermermaid)

thefatjewish

SPOKE AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, WAS MOST LIKELY THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO WEAR REALTREE OVERALLS WITH NO SHIRT AND USE THE WORD “HANDJOB” THREE TIMES DURING A LECTURE. ME AND @anitaelberse (WHO IS AN ACTUAL LEGEND) TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, HOW WE BUILT @drinkbabe, AND THE TIME ME AND MADONNA PRANK CALLED BONO DURING A SLEEPOVER. AND TO ANYBODY OUT THERE WHO HAS A SICK BUSINESS IDEA, DM ME BECAUSE I WANT TO INVEST AND HELP YOU BUILD SO YOU GET RICH ENOUGH TO BUY A FALCON FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME @harvardhbs, MEMORIES WERE MADE.

thefatjewish

I’m garbage at listening, but I’m honestly amazing at guessing a white girl’s name. I can pick a Lauren out of a lineup. I can spot a Lindsay/Lindsey from a block away. I CAN CALL AN ALLIE/ALLY/ALY/ALI BY ONLY SEEING THE BACK OF HER FUCKING HEAD. It’s truly a gift. ( @saradesdinn)

thefatjewish

MY WINE COMPANY @DRINKBABE IS CONSCIOUSLY COUPLING WITH THE FUCKING QUEEN, MY DEAR FRIEND/ BUSINESS GURU @EMRATA. LOOK FOR HER ON BILLBOARDS NATIONWIDE, STOMPING THROUGH CITIES LIKE GODZILLA IF GODZILLA HAD A MUCH BETTER BUTT

thefatjewish

*Names children Kayden, Jayden, Brayden, Ayden, Kaylen, Jadyn, Hayden, Peyton, Braedynn, Caiden, Zaidyn, Mackenzie, McKenna, Makayla, Jordynn and Kayleigh* (@versace_tamagotchi)

thefatjewish

HIM AND GWYNETH ON THE BOTTOM LEFT AS A LESBIAN COUPLE IN BROOKLYN WHO OWN A STORE THAT ONLY SELLS SCARVES FOR DOGS IS MY FAVE

thefatjewish

DRUNK ME RECENTLY BOUGHT SOBER ME 40 DVD COPIES OF “NATIONAL TREASURE.” I DON’T EVEN OWN A FUCKING DVD PLAYER.

thefatjewish

LAST WEEK SOMEONE I KNOW CANCELED THEIR 15-PERSON BIRTHDAY DINNER ON THE DAY OF AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE I HAD SHOT HEROIN

thefatjewish

ALL I FUCKING CARE ABOUT IS CARBS AND LIKE 3 PEOPLE

thefatjewish

STOP BLAMING ASTROLOGY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY JUST A HUGE BITCH

thefatjewish

SO MANY PEOPLE WORKING ON A “CLEAN EATING PLAN” RIGHT NOW THAT WILL LAST EXACTLY 27 DAYS

thefatjewish

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? @emrata

thefatjewish

SOME PEOPLE ARE AT WORK SOME PEOPLE ARE IN CABO SOME PEOPLE ARE DRUNK AT WORK, IT’S SO FUCKING CONFUSING WHAT ARE WE DOING

thefatjewish

I5 FUCKING PLANE TICKETS FROM CHICAGO TO PARIS, 10 PIZZAS, HOME ALONE DAD WAS BALLLLLINGGGGGGGG

thefatjewish

Not all heroes wear capes. Some are Armenian midgets who are slightly under the weather. ( @boujeeslut)

thefatjewish

So many $9 iced matchas, so little fucking income.

thefatjewish

“Grandpa, I’m a social media disruption specialist for a multi vertical gender fluid dating app!” said the 26 year old girl at Thanksgiving dinner to her grandfather who lost his hand in Korea and thinks Hillary Clinton worships Satan, who nods approvingly, yet is deeply confused and upset. ( @broazay)

thefatjewish

“White people love snitching so much, they invented yelp” - @desusnice

thefatjewish

HOLY FUCK THIS CANNOT BE UNSEEN ( @pizzaslime)

thefatjewish

THIS AIRPLANE PILOT IS VERY FUCKING GOOD AT HALLOWEEN

THEFATJEWISH

Wait, am I washed up because I’m worried that he’s ruining a cast iron pan with that sponge and the soap?? I NEED TO GO GET BLACKOUT DRUNK IMMEDIATELY AND RECLAIM MY FUCKING YOUTH.

thefatjewish

I WISH I WAS IN MYKONOS WITH LINDSAY LOHAN WATCHING HER DANCE ON ECSTASY IN A SILK ROMPER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK?

thefatjewish

Heyyyyyyy Russia, can you please stop trying to politically puppeteer us and maybe use all your teen hackers for some shit that we’d all actually be into? K THANKS BYEEEEE ( @samaranieves)

thefatjewish

One time I had unprotected sex with a white woman with dreadlocks who was a vegan, and she took a shit in my bathroom that literally smelled like a corpse filled with cabbage. Burned my eyes when I walked in there.

thefatjewish

The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit.

thefatjewish

I’m not gay, but fucking Joe Biden would be patriotic, right?

thefatjewish

Never fucking forget. #9/11

thefatjewish

Some girls want flowers. Some want ridiculously expensive sushi. SOME JUST WANT TO WANDER AROUND COSTCO SCARFING FREE SAMPLES @hinge

thefatjewish

I’m sure this comment section is going to be super fun and reasonable!

thefatjewish

ALSO, IF YOU GAVE IT SUNGLASSES I FUCKSSSSS WITH YOU. IF YOU PUT IT IN THE CENTER YOU’RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PSYCHO.

makeup_clips

Follow @girl for the most relatable girl memes 💋 @girl 😂 💋 @girl 😂 💋 @girl 😂 💋 @girl 😂 💋 @girl 😂 💋 @girl 😂

thefatjewish

Remember when the world was supposed to end in 2012? What happened to that? WHO FUCKED THAT UP

thefatjewish

2022: EVERYONE IS AN INFLUENCER (THOSE WITH UNDER 100 FOLLOWERS ARE REFERRED TO AS “NANO INFLUENCERS”), BUT NOBODY CAN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE.

thefatjewish

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE IN TAMPA WITH A HORRENDOUS LEG TATTOO WHO DOESN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD

thefatjewish

Hey guys, just a quick reminder that Blue Ivy’s life is sooooo much fucking better than yours. Have a great night peasants!

thefatjewish

I’ve been drinking rosé since 10:30, should I start drunk dialing celebrities I have in my phone? MICHAEL B JORDAN I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE DUDE

thefatjewish

People my age are having children on purpose and I still haven’t unpacked from a trip I took to Ibiza in fucking March. I got a UTI on that trip. ( @thekayanova)

thefatjewish

Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.

thefatjewish

Asians are soooooo future.

thefatjewish

TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER

thefatjewish

It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.

thefatjewish

I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS ( @doughbvy)

thefatjewish

And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? ( @melecevida)

thefatjewish

I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.