I sold my wine company @drinkbabe to the largest alcohol conglomerate in the world while wearing assless leather chaps to meetings and having one of the stupidest haircuts of all time. Anything is possible in 2019 you guys. No, but like seriously, fucking ANYTHING.
This is Sarah Harden, the CEO of @hellosunshine.☀️Every day she pushes me to think more expansively about our mission to change the way women are seen in media. ✨She holds my dreams for a more diverse, representative media landscape in her hands and her heart. Everyday we talk at least 5 times: making decisions and figuring out our path forward. Fun facts : She is from Australia, she lived in Hong Kong, she has 3 amazing kids and she’s a twin! She also loves to discuss a 3yr projected business plan with an iced Americano at 10 am on Wednesdays while we listen to Spotify playlists of 90’s songs. ☕️ #howwegetitdone #womeninfilm
Garden update! Carrots and radishes are thriving... any tips for stubborn tomatoes?🥕🍅
Keeping that teen spirit alive! #TBT #Iwas25
The ultimate thriller! My August book club pick is #TheLastHouseGuest by @meganlmiranda. Picture this: It’s the last night of summer in Littleport, Maine and Avery Greer discovers her best friend is missing. Was she murdered? Was it a suicide? This story will have you guessing until the very end. I can’t wait for y’all to read it so we can discuss all the twists and turns at @reesesbookclub! 📚✨
Pupdate: Today, Lou ate my favorite sneaker 👟... but just the left one. 🤷🏼♀️ #LouTheBulldog
Pepper thinks there's bacon in my purse...🥓
Happy Birthday to my sweet hubby!!! 🎂Here’s to another fantastic trip around the sun with you! 💫❤️ Love you, JT!
Love these wise words , Amy! Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. ✨
For years, I was an actor for hire and I am so grateful for that time because I learned about script development, hiring crews & making productions run on time. I always wanted to become a producer. And here I am now... In my role as producer, I am truly humbled everyday by everyone who works tirelessly to make TV magic. ✨ I want to say to everyone who worked on #BigLittleLies… every single cast member, location scout, camera operator, teamster, film editor, makeup artist, caterer and prop master on our production who collaborated to give us this opportunity to explore these women’s lives for 2 seasons, THANK YOU from my bottom of my heart. You have made my whole experience a dream come true ❤️
Madeline & Ed 💕Abigail & Chloe 💕#biglittlelies
Can’t believe tonight is the season finale of @biglittlelies! BIG surprises tonight! ✨To all the fans of the show, THANK YOU ! You are the reason this show is everything it can be. Thank you for watching, for discussing, for tweeting.... for Loving these women. It means the world to me! 💝
This group of young storytellers joined @HelloSunshine and @att for a week of learning and mentorship on the ins-and-outs of filmmaking and let me just say... the future is bright! 💫Everybody deserves to tell their story and it’s been a dream come true to watch these ambitious young ladies leave here feeling confident to do just that. A HUGE THANK YOU to @att for making this program possible. 🌟It’s opportunities like these that are going to change the stories in Hollywood! 🎬 #filmmakerlab
2019 IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.
There’s always that one friend in the group 🤪 #biglittlelies
Monday Lisa gets it... #mondays 🍷
Look what I found in a buried time capsule labeled ‘1999’ 😂 @selmablair and I share so many great memories together, from #cruelintentions to #legallyblonde she’s always kept me laughing! 💫 #tbt
Be a force of positivity ❤️
I think this artist really gets my whimsical spirit. 🎨 💙👩🎨
Ed & Madeline are going away for the weekend… but where to? 🧐 Find out tonight on @biglittlelies! #BLL2
Well.. this pretty much says it all.😴I love you, Z💖
Date night in Paris 🇫🇷✨❤️
Felt cute, will post 20 years later. #TBT #Freeway (1996!)
Welcome to the family, Lou! #lovemybulldog 🥰
Biggest Birthday wishes to my girl, @MindyKaling!✨No one makes me laugh like you do. ( @latenightmovie was so hysterical!) Keep shining bright 🌟you gorgeous diamond💎!
Who is ready to see how EXTRA these two can be? Tune in tonight for more #BLL2! 💅🏻
Happy Birthday, Meryl! Sending so much birthday love to this talented creature! 🎈 🎂 💫What a privilege and an honor to work with you on @biglittlelies! (Check out my Insta-story if you want to see the cast of BLL share their favorite #merylstreep movies ! )
Happiest birthday to one of the most radiant gals around! 💫⚡️🌟It is a privilege to call you a friend & producing partner. Love you @NicoleKidman! 💖
Hey @januaryjones, how am I doing?? Thinking of submitting this image with my #MadMen reboot application. 🍸 📷: @pamela_hanson
Summertime in the city! Any tips on fun things to do in #NYC? 🗽🚕 🍎
“What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.” Happy #FathersDay to all the wonderful dads out there! Where would we be without your #dadjokes?
It’s going down! Mary Louise vs. Madeline Mackenzie, tonight on @hbo 🌊 🤫 #BLL2@ #whoyoucallingshort
My Friday mood! What are y’all up to this weekend? #TGIF (📷: @david_bellemere)
#MyEcoResolution is to continue using sustainable water bottles and limit my plastic consumption every day.♻️ Even though I may not be perfect in my efforts, I’m making the resolution to make positive change to protect the environment. 🌎 What’s your #ecoresolution? I nominate @mindykaling & @jennifer.garner to share theirs!
“Agora queres virar-me al revés Vais ter que me correr de lés a lés E prova-me Boy prova lá então quem és” #ragazzi #AM
FUCK YES SUCK DICKS! Shouts to all my bears, wolves, otters, rats, pandas, bulls, cubs, circuit boys, closet jocks, twinks, twunks, drag queens, soft butches, stone butches, high femmes, lipstick lesbians, celesbians, diesel dykes, power bottoms, classic tops, verse boiiiis, leather daddys and everyone else in the rainbow THESE COLORS DON’T RUN #pride
YOU’D BE ABLE TO POSTMATES IT AND HAVE IT DELIVERED WITH A PINT OF ICE CREAM, GUARANFUCKINGTEED.
MY MOM HAS BEEN DOING THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY FOR FREE FOR 40 FUCKING YEARS
I RECENTLY MET AN INFLUENCER MOM WHO IS PROMOTING “CBD EDAMAME FOR KIDS” AND AT THAT MOMENT I TRULY WISHED I HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND WOULD FORGET EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN ( @cxcope)
I'm wayyyy too consistently stoned to keep all this fucking information straight, like TARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM, BROTHER AND UNCLE OF BARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM THE THIRD, RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF THE SECOND KINGDOM OF DRAGONWIG, OKKKK NERDS ( @eliasswakim)
PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE PLANS YOU MAKE WHILE PEAKING ON MOLLY AT SUNRISE DURING A DIPLO SET AREN’T ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN AND THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE EVER AGAIN. (Twitter: @hipstermermaid)
SPOKE AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, WAS MOST LIKELY THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO WEAR REALTREE OVERALLS WITH NO SHIRT AND USE THE WORD “HANDJOB” THREE TIMES DURING A LECTURE. ME AND @anitaelberse (WHO IS AN ACTUAL LEGEND) TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, HOW WE BUILT @drinkbabe, AND THE TIME ME AND MADONNA PRANK CALLED BONO DURING A SLEEPOVER. AND TO ANYBODY OUT THERE WHO HAS A SICK BUSINESS IDEA, DM ME BECAUSE I WANT TO INVEST AND HELP YOU BUILD SO YOU GET RICH ENOUGH TO BUY A FALCON FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME @harvardhbs, MEMORIES WERE MADE.
I’m garbage at listening, but I’m honestly amazing at guessing a white girl’s name. I can pick a Lauren out of a lineup. I can spot a Lindsay/Lindsey from a block away. I CAN CALL AN ALLIE/ALLY/ALY/ALI BY ONLY SEEING THE BACK OF HER FUCKING HEAD. It’s truly a gift. ( @saradesdinn)
*Names children Kayden, Jayden, Brayden, Ayden, Kaylen, Jadyn, Hayden, Peyton, Braedynn, Caiden, Zaidyn, Mackenzie, McKenna, Makayla, Jordynn and Kayleigh* (@versace_tamagotchi)
HIM AND GWYNETH ON THE BOTTOM LEFT AS A LESBIAN COUPLE IN BROOKLYN WHO OWN A STORE THAT ONLY SELLS SCARVES FOR DOGS IS MY FAVE
DRUNK ME RECENTLY BOUGHT SOBER ME 40 DVD COPIES OF “NATIONAL TREASURE.” I DON’T EVEN OWN A FUCKING DVD PLAYER.
LAST WEEK SOMEONE I KNOW CANCELED THEIR 15-PERSON BIRTHDAY DINNER ON THE DAY OF AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE I HAD SHOT HEROIN
ALL I FUCKING CARE ABOUT IS CARBS AND LIKE 3 PEOPLE
STOP BLAMING ASTROLOGY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY JUST A HUGE BITCH
SO MANY PEOPLE WORKING ON A “CLEAN EATING PLAN” RIGHT NOW THAT WILL LAST EXACTLY 27 DAYS
SOME PEOPLE ARE AT WORK SOME PEOPLE ARE IN CABO SOME PEOPLE ARE DRUNK AT WORK, IT’S SO FUCKING CONFUSING WHAT ARE WE DOING
I5 FUCKING PLANE TICKETS FROM CHICAGO TO PARIS, 10 PIZZAS, HOME ALONE DAD WAS BALLLLLINGGGGGGGG
Not all heroes wear capes. Some are Armenian midgets who are slightly under the weather. ( @boujeeslut)
So many $9 iced matchas, so little fucking income.
“Grandpa, I’m a social media disruption specialist for a multi vertical gender fluid dating app!” said the 26 year old girl at Thanksgiving dinner to her grandfather who lost his hand in Korea and thinks Hillary Clinton worships Satan, who nods approvingly, yet is deeply confused and upset. ( @broazay)
THIS AIRPLANE PILOT IS VERY FUCKING GOOD AT HALLOWEEN
Wait, am I washed up because I’m worried that he’s ruining a cast iron pan with that sponge and the soap?? I NEED TO GO GET BLACKOUT DRUNK IMMEDIATELY AND RECLAIM MY FUCKING YOUTH.
I WISH I WAS IN MYKONOS WITH LINDSAY LOHAN WATCHING HER DANCE ON ECSTASY IN A SILK ROMPER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK?
Heyyyyyyy Russia, can you please stop trying to politically puppeteer us and maybe use all your teen hackers for some shit that we’d all actually be into? K THANKS BYEEEEE ( @samaranieves)
One time I had unprotected sex with a white woman with dreadlocks who was a vegan, and she took a shit in my bathroom that literally smelled like a corpse filled with cabbage. Burned my eyes when I walked in there.
The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit.
I’m not gay, but fucking Joe Biden would be patriotic, right?
Never fucking forget. #9/11
I’m sure this comment section is going to be super fun and reasonable!
ALSO, IF YOU GAVE IT SUNGLASSES I FUCKSSSSS WITH YOU. IF YOU PUT IT IN THE CENTER YOU’RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PSYCHO.
Remember when the world was supposed to end in 2012? What happened to that? WHO FUCKED THAT UP
🌹Até logo Canedo, pelas 23.30h🌹#laduenatour #laduenarecords
🌹Até logo @trumpslisboa🌹#festivaltrumps #laduenatour
🌹Espero por vcs pelas 23h 😘#laduenatour
2022: EVERYONE IS AN INFLUENCER (THOSE WITH UNDER 100 FOLLOWERS ARE REFERRED TO AS “NANO INFLUENCERS”), BUT NOBODY CAN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE.
SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE IN TAMPA WITH A HORRENDOUS LEG TATTOO WHO DOESN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD
Hey guys, just a quick reminder that Blue Ivy’s life is sooooo much fucking better than yours. Have a great night peasants!
I’ve been drinking rosé since 10:30, should I start drunk dialing celebrities I have in my phone? MICHAEL B JORDAN I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE DUDE
People my age are having children on purpose and I still haven’t unpacked from a trip I took to Ibiza in fucking March. I got a UTI on that trip. ( @thekayanova)
Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.
Asians are soooooo future.
TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER
It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.
I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS ( @doughbvy)
And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? ( @melecevida)
I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.