Kevin Hart Dolce & Gabbana thefatjewish - instagram lists #feedolist

DolceGabbana

This year is all about logos. Fall in love with the new Dolce&Gabbana Fall Winter 2019-20 collection, inspired by the D&G archives, and discover more at @dolcegabbana_man. #DGLogo

DolceGabbana

Lily Collins is spotted in a feminine floral dress with blooming lily prints. #DGWomen #DGCelebs

DolceGabbana

Alessandra Amoroso performs on stage with blossoming Dolce&Gabbana A-line dress. #DGWomen #DGCelebs

DolceGabbana

Kitty Spencer and Emma Weymouth are pictured wearing summery Dolce&Gabbana florals. #DGWomen #DGCelebs

DolceGabbana

Mondello is characterized by its liberty style charm, making it a place that is much loved by everyone. The ancient Bathing Establishment, built by the architect Rudolf Stualker, is one of the most beautiful Art Nouveau architectural works in Europe. Follow the journey of the #DGSicily62 at the link in bio.

DolceGabbana

Sicilian carts are a symbolic of local culture and folklore. Built by skilled craftsmen called “carradori”, they were once used to transport goods of all kinds. Discover this bag's journey around Sicily at the link in bio. #DGSicily58 #DGFattoAMano

DolceGabbana

The history of the Saline from Trapani and Marsala is so ancient it dates back to the time of the Phoenicians, the first to build sea water tanks to extract salt. Curious to learn more? Tap the link in bio. #DGSicily58 #DGDNA

kevinhart4real

Screaming Happy B Day to my wife @enikohart ....I’m better because of you...Love you to the moon & back!!!!! Thank you for all that you do....we celebrate you today!!!!!! #Harts #GettingOldIsDopeAsHell

DolceGabbana

Salemi is also known as “La Città dei Pani”: the cooking of devotional bread is still a common practice in several ancient, traditional celebrations. The most common one is the Feast of San Giuseppe on March 19th where the wooden altars adorned with white linen and flowers are decorated with twigs of "murtidda" (myrtle), wine, and fresh citrus fruits and filled with processed breads. #DGSicily62 #DGFattoAMano

kevinhart4real

#DopePic #LiveLoveLaugh

kevinhart4real

#DopePic #ComedicRockStarShit

DolceGabbana

History and colour make the #DGSicily58 mirrors of tradition: new ispiring true classics. Follow their journey at the link in bio. #DGDNA

DolceGabbana

When Garibaldi arrived in Sicily, he hoisted the flag of the Tricolor, proclaiming Salemi the Capital of Italy, but it only remained so for a day. Although no longer the Capital, Salemi is a beautiful, heartwarming village with a beautiful square: Piazza Alicia, that was listed as one of the 60 good examples of Squares in Europe for urban planning and implementation. Discover more at the link in bio. #DGSicily62 #DGDNA

dolcegabbana

The journey of #DGSicily58 and #DGSicily62 bags continues. Explore the new stops and follow the trip across Sicily at the link in bio. #DGFattoAMano #DGDNA

kevinhart4real

All I can say is wow....2 years I have now been on the top of this list. Thank you to all of my fans that have helped me get here!!!! I love you all

kevinhart4real

#LiveLoveLaugh #DopePics #ComedicRockStarShit

dolcegabbana

Mariano Di Vaio is the king of his everyday life, he owns his crown. Folllow his journey at @dgbeauty. #KbyDolceGabbana #OwnYourCrown #DGBeauty

kevinhart4real

#Harts #LiveLoveLaugh

dolcegabbana

The chiseled geometric bottle, offset by a crown of intricate artistry, evokes the traditional symbol of royalty, but with a bold simplicity that is strikingly contemporary. Discover the new K by Dolce&Gabbana fragrance @dgbeauty. #KbyDolceGabbana #OwnYourCrown #DGBeauty

dolcegabbana

A new era of masculinity begins with K by Dolce&Gabbana, the new fragrance for men. Follow the journey of @marianodivaio at @dgbeauty and be the king of your everyday life. #DGBeauty #KbyDolceGabbana #OwnYourCrown

thefatjewish

I sold my wine company @drinkbabe to the largest alcohol conglomerate in the world while wearing assless leather chaps to meetings and having one of the stupidest haircuts of all time. Anything is possible in 2019 you guys. No, but like seriously, fucking ANYTHING.

kevinhart4real

When epic backgrounds become real life 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 #TheseAreTheMomentsThatMakeMeWorkHarderAndWantMore #ComedicRockStarShit #DopePic .....

dolcegabbana

Each dream is unique, as is each piece of art created at Dolce&Gabbana Alta Moda, thanks to the nobility of the materials, and the confident, patient and meticulous skill of the craftsmen. #DGAltaModa #DGFattoAMano

dolcegabbana

Behind every Dolce&Gabbana Alta Moda dress is a history of techniques preserved over time, enriched by life experiences of the artisans who create it. #DGAltaModa #DGFattoAMano

dolcegabbana

A stitch in time, some of the most precious representations of artwork are displayed onto this Alta Moda dress, surrounded by large yellow plumes that give it added volume. #DGAltaModa #DGFattoAMano

dolcegabbana

Ruffles and volumes and bright colours. From the material, to the design, and to every single shade of colour, everything is ideated at the initial stage of sketches for Alta Moda dresses. #DGAltaModa #DGFattoAMano

dolcegabbana

A detailed look at the embroidered embellishments that delineate the décolleté of this Alta Moda dress. #DGAltaModa #DGFattoAMano

kevinhart4real

#Harts

kevinhart4real

Happy Anniversary honey...thank you for rocking with me and believing in me and loving me the way you do. I loves ya to the moon and back #Harts

kevinhart4real

Words cannot explain how much of a joy it’s been working with this unbelievably talented little girl @melodyhurd ....You have made this movie “FatherHood” so special....we are going to make a major impact with this one. I can’t wait for the world to see.... #Fatherhood

dolcegabbana

Show off your personality with a #DGLeo total look. #DGWomen

dolcegabbana

Regal allure in an elegant living room from the late 60s. #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

Unexpected combinations in a total look. That's what you need to be unique this autumn. #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

When craftmanship meets classic romance something unique is born: #DGDevotionBag. #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

These shoes are embellished with unique details that emphasize their prestige and, undoubtedly, your personality. #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

A distinguishing pattern for #DGWomen, the leopard's spots are set to be your go-to print come autumn. #DGLeo #DGSicilyBag

kevinhart4real

"I'm" .... #Motivation #HappySunday ....oops "you're"....Stop judging me 😂😂😂

dolcegabbana

Add a touch of sass to your look. #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

The road to glamour is paved in leopard print. #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

The leopard print is in the DNA of Dolce&Gabbana's heritage, making your look captivating and sensual. #DGEyewear #DGWomen #DGLeo

dolcegabbana

Distinguished by Dolce&Gabbana's DNA, the classic logo reveals the frames “Amore” on the scroll. This is the bag for a refined and feminine look. #DGAmore #DGWomen

dolcegabbana

Where craftsmanship meets elegance and sophistication: those are the #DGGirls. #DGWomen

dolcegabbana

The classic logo reveals a baroque soul in this matching shoes and bag look. #DGAmore #DGWomen

DolceGabbana

Play the music of nature. Put the headphones off in this elegant Dolce&Gabbana cover. #DolceGabbana

DolceGabbana

There's no time for a work call during the holidays. Use this new cool #DolceGabbana cover.

DolceGabbana

Music off, summer on. Get your holiday groove on with the new #DolceGabbana cover.

kevinhart4real

Wake up & take my @getvitahustle & then go to the gym & then shower & head to work in @tommyjohnwear AKA Quality & Comfort at its best....This is my life on repeat....I do things at the highest level possible because I got My mind & body where they both need to be....Being comfortable is a needed bonus!!!!!! Come & join me & get some of this Hustle & Comfort!!!!! #VitaHustle #TommyJohnxKevinHart

dolcegabbana

Each #DGEyewear frame reflects a unique journey from concept to construction. We never stop seeking new ways to express our ideas. #DGFattoAMano

dolcegabbana

The handcrafted process of each pair of #DGEyewear ensures that every piece is unique. #DGFattoAMano

kevinhart4real

#HobbsAndShaw #NowPlaying

dolcegabbana

Embossing the Dolce&Gabbana logo onto the temples for instant recognizable style. #DGFattoAMano #DGEyewear

dolcegabbana

Extracting the temples that will construct this pair of #DGEyewear is an intricate process that highlights the masterful craftsmanship of Dolce&Gabbana artisans. #DGFattoAMano

dolcegabbana

Outlined to the perfect shape that will enhance the look of all #DGWomen. #DGFattoAMano #DGEyewear

dolcegabbana

Reflecting the lace from garments of #DGWomen Ready to Wear, the materials are prepared to outline the frames for this pair of #DGEyewear. #DGFattoAMano

kevinhart4real

#TBT To when @tommyjohnwear launched our women's line that has been unbelievably successful to date...Im in love with our product & I'm in even more love with the response from the people... Wait until you see what we have coming your way....My new underwear line Tommy John X Kevin Hart is insane along with our lounge wear!!!!!!! #TommyJohn #QualityAndComfortAtITSbest

kevinhart4real

All I can say is WOW & thank you to all of my wonderful fans that helped make these moments possible!!!! I love all of you... #ComedicRockStarShit

dolcegabbana

A place where dreams come true. Welcome to the #DGHouse, the sumptuous home of four special #DGDolls. Allow yourself to be surprised by their style and choose the one you prefer the most: they can become the perfect Mini Me for your little girl. #DolceGabbana Pre-order available now on the online store and in selected stores.

kevinhart4real

God is good.... #ComedicRockStarShit

DolceGabbana

The delicate ripples add volume to this organza dress, which becomes even more precious due to the soft and elegant details. #DGDolls #DolceGabbana Pre-order available now on the online store and in selected stores.

DolceGabbana

The dolls' look is created to perfection, glowing and delicate at the same time. Her gaze suddenly becomes magical. #DGDolls #DolceGabbana Pre-order available now on the online store and in selected stores.

KevinHart4Real

This encounter floored me...this is my 2nd movie that I have done that has been based off of a true story. The 1st was the "The Upside" which was an unbelievable story....Now I'm doing "Fatherhood" which is a movie based off of Matthew Logelin's life. What this man has been thru is unreal....he is the definition of Tru strength in my eyes...he lost his wife after she delivered their baby at the hospital. His life took a turn that he never saw coming....while facing his darkest moment in his life he was left with the responsibility of raising his child. Nobody believed in him or his ability to step up to the plate...but he did it. It was hard and grueling but he found a way to pour all of the love he had into his daughter "Madeline " because that's what his wife would have wanted him to do....Matt & Maddy came to visit us on set today...both of their smiles bought a different type of energy to our set. I'm in awe of their story and even more so of this opportunity. Their bond is inseparable and rightfully so. I can't wait for the world to see what this man and his daughter made it thru.....#Fatherhood #ComingSoon #MeAndMelodyAeeDoingOurBestToMakeYouProud ....Trust me when I tell you that this is a movie that we all need to see. The movie gives an amazing Message to ALL FATHERS 💪🏾

dolcegabbana

An elegant detail enhances this doll's red gown: a beautiful headband that immediately makes her feel like the queen of a magnificent castle. #DGDolls #DolceGabbana Pre-order available now on the online store and in selected stores.

dolcegabbana

Shimmering with beauty, this doll is admiring her sandals, made even more precious with embellished stones. #DGDolls #DolceGabbana Pre-order available now on the online store and in selected stores.

dolcegabbana

Dolce&Gabbana presents the new collection of dolls in their magnificient #DGHouse. Wearing miniature versions of dresses from the Children’s collection, the #DGDolls are in perfect Mini Me style. #DolceGabbana

dolcegabbana

The new Dolce&Gabbana Fall Winter 2019-20 Children’s Advertising Campaign. #DGCampaign #DGFW20 #DGBambino

dolcegabbana

The new Dolce&Gabbana Fall Winter 2019-20 Children’s Advertising Campaign. #DGCampaign #DGFW20 #DGBambino

dolcegabbana

The new Dolce&Gabbana Fall Winter 2019-20 Children’s Advertising Campaign. #DGCampaign #DGFW20 #DGBambino

dolcegabbana

The new Dolce&Gabbana Fall Winter 2019-20 Children’s Advertising Campaign. #DGCampaign #DGFW20 #DGBambino

kevinhart4real

Picture #1 was taken Nov 24th when I was reading the latest draft of “Fatherhood” & picture #2 is me today thinking about how good of a decision it was to do this movie!!!!! #Fatherhood #Growth #BoxOfficeKiller #HartBeatProductions

kevinhart4real

Real picture of me sleeping on set in a scene 😂😂😂...The crew thought I was playing but I was knocked the hell out!!!! #Fatherhood #NightShoots ....I’m a fall asleep master these days 😂😂😂😂 I’m getting old

kevinhart4real

Slowdown for what???? Let's gooooooooo ....I got my foot on the gas people!!!!!! #ComedicRockstarShit #MakingHistory #LaughOutLoudNetWork #HartBeatProductions

kevinhart4real

On set working.... #FatherHood

kevinhart4real

On the set of my new movie "Fatherhood"....all I can say is Wooooooow. I can't wait for you guys to see this movie!!!!!! #FatherHood

kevinhart4real

I had such a good time...thank you @GolfChannel and @fehertwit #Feherty

kevinhart4real

I would have loved to put a deep caption on this photo but I got nothing 😂😂😂#DopePic

kevinhart4real

#Harts

kevinhart4real

Received the "Generation Award" at the Just For Laughs festival last night. Truly blown away & humbled by this...major thank you to the festival & an even bigger thank you to my fans & supporters who have helped make moments like this possible. I love all of you!!!!!! #ComedicRockStarShit #MakingHistory #JustGettingStarted

KEVINHART4REAL

Grown Little 40yr old man.... #ComedicRockStarShit

KEVINHART4REAL

On set with my team #Harts #Fatherhood

kevinhart4real

#WCE #MrsHart

KEVINHART4REAL

#Harts #Fatherhood #FamilySetVisits

KEVINHART4REAL

Such an amazing cast.... #Fatherhood

KEVINHART4REAL

Shooting a movie called "Fatherhood" & embracing it at the same damn time! #Harts

KEVINHART4REAL

Day 2 of my commercial shoot for @tommyjohnwear ....New product for Men & women is on the way people. I can't wait for y'all to see my Tommy John X Kevin Hart 3.0 collection....New Heat coming soon damn it!!!!!

KEVINHART4REAL

From the movie set to my new campaign/commercial shoot for @tommyjohnwear ....I can't wait for you guys to see the new product that we have coming your way!!!! Stay tuned damn it!!!!! I am a owner/ambassador ...I only invest in the things that u believe in...quality and comfort is a must for me!!!!!! #TommyJohn #NoAdjustmentNeeded #BigThingsComing

KEVINHART4REAL

So Proud of my damn kids...So I get to work today and we were greeted by a group of amazing camp kids that had signs up that said We love you Kevin Hart & bunch of other really nice things. These messages were all hand written on huge poster boards....after we took pictures and said our hello’s I told the camp kids that I would treat them to some ice cream....I challenged my kids to get it done and they responded to the challenge. They Found a ice cream place “Wild Willy’s” & got them to come to the location so they could hand deliver the ice cream to the kids themselves....they even made a sign 😂😂😂😂. These are the priceless moments that you hold onto. Job well done.... #Harts

KEVINHART4REAL

Proud dad #Harts

thefatjewish

2019 IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

KEVINHART4REAL

#Harts

kevinhart4real

I don't know how to do things halfway....it's all or nothing. I'm excited as hell about my partnership with SiriusXM & the potential of growth that our future holds. Make sure y'all listen to My station on SiriusXM channel 96 & catch "Straight From The Hart"....we are now doing 2hr episodes. Onward & upward people!!!!!

KEVINHART4REAL

Caption these 😂😂😂😂 #My40TH

KEVINHART4REAL

So happy to announce the start of my new show "Hart to Heart" which will be kicking off July 27th & 28th in Montreal during the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival....Always pushing Always finding new ways to create....Also thank you To @iamwandasykes @trevornoah @anthonyanderson & @howiemandel for being my 1st guest for these amazing 1 on 1 interviews!!!!

KEVINHART4REAL

#FatherHood #CantWaitForTheWorldToSeeThisMovie

KEVINHART4REAL

I only get better....WE PROGRESS & Never digress.... #HustleHart #Motivation #ComedicRockStarShit

kevinhart4real

It was a motion picture #My40TH

kevinhart4real

#My40TH #DopePics

kevinhart4real

#My40th #LiveLoveLaugh

kevinhart4real

Words can't explain how amazing my 40th B Day party was....The room was filled with nothing but good vibes and love. Major thank you to @taola for allowing me to take over the Resturant & turn it into a Night Club for the night. Also thank to Bonnie Walker Events for helping me pull off such an epic party. This pic explains so much because I got so fucked up that alot of the night is nothing but a blurr 😂😂😂....I had to leave my own party at 1:20am because I felt like I was about to fall. I told my wife that we had to get the fuck out of here before I embarrass my damn self...the tequila got the best of me again 😂😂😂 I love and appreciate everyone that came out and celebrated with me. It was a STONE COLD GROVE PEOPLE!!!!! My little ass is 40....And at this age the best feeling in the world is self happiness....All I can say is THANK YOU GOD!!!! #LookAtMyEyes #iThrewUpInTheCar #NikoThrewUpFirstTho #MyBodyDontRecoverTheSame #FuckDrinking .....I blame @michaelrubin ....You did this to me man 😂😂😂😂

kevinhart4real

Sheeeeesh #Harts

kevinhart4real

I added some more muscle to the family for my 40th....welcome home "Menace" #MuscleCarLover

kevinhart4real

It's the little things that make me the happiest...These T Shirts were amazing. #Harts

kevinhart4real

#Harts

TheFatJewish

FUCK YES SUCK DICKS! Shouts to all my bears, wolves, otters, rats, pandas, bulls, cubs, circuit boys, closet jocks, twinks, twunks, drag queens, soft butches, stone butches, high femmes, lipstick lesbians, celesbians, diesel dykes, power bottoms, classic tops, verse boiiiis, leather daddys and everyone else in the rainbow THESE COLORS DON’T RUN #pride

THEFATJEWISH

YOU’D BE ABLE TO POSTMATES IT AND HAVE IT DELIVERED WITH A PINT OF ICE CREAM, GUARANFUCKINGTEED.

THEFATJEWISH

MY MOM HAS BEEN DOING THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY FOR FREE FOR 40 FUCKING YEARS

thefatjewish

I RECENTLY MET AN INFLUENCER MOM WHO IS PROMOTING “CBD EDAMAME FOR KIDS” AND AT THAT MOMENT I TRULY WISHED I HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND WOULD FORGET EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN ( @cxcope)

thefatjewish

I'm wayyyy too consistently stoned to keep all this fucking information straight, like TARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM, BROTHER AND UNCLE OF BARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM THE THIRD, RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF THE SECOND KINGDOM OF DRAGONWIG, OKKKK NERDS ( @eliasswakim)

thefatjewish

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE PLANS YOU MAKE WHILE PEAKING ON MOLLY AT SUNRISE DURING A DIPLO SET AREN’T ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN AND THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE EVER AGAIN. (Twitter: @hipstermermaid)

thefatjewish

SPOKE AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, WAS MOST LIKELY THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO WEAR REALTREE OVERALLS WITH NO SHIRT AND USE THE WORD “HANDJOB” THREE TIMES DURING A LECTURE. ME AND @anitaelberse (WHO IS AN ACTUAL LEGEND) TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, HOW WE BUILT @drinkbabe, AND THE TIME ME AND MADONNA PRANK CALLED BONO DURING A SLEEPOVER. AND TO ANYBODY OUT THERE WHO HAS A SICK BUSINESS IDEA, DM ME BECAUSE I WANT TO INVEST AND HELP YOU BUILD SO YOU GET RICH ENOUGH TO BUY A FALCON FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME @harvardhbs, MEMORIES WERE MADE.

thefatjewish

I’m garbage at listening, but I’m honestly amazing at guessing a white girl’s name. I can pick a Lauren out of a lineup. I can spot a Lindsay/Lindsey from a block away. I CAN CALL AN ALLIE/ALLY/ALY/ALI BY ONLY SEEING THE BACK OF HER FUCKING HEAD. It’s truly a gift. ( @saradesdinn)

thefatjewish

MY WINE COMPANY @DRINKBABE IS CONSCIOUSLY COUPLING WITH THE FUCKING QUEEN, MY DEAR FRIEND/ BUSINESS GURU @EMRATA. LOOK FOR HER ON BILLBOARDS NATIONWIDE, STOMPING THROUGH CITIES LIKE GODZILLA IF GODZILLA HAD A MUCH BETTER BUTT

thefatjewish

*Names children Kayden, Jayden, Brayden, Ayden, Kaylen, Jadyn, Hayden, Peyton, Braedynn, Caiden, Zaidyn, Mackenzie, McKenna, Makayla, Jordynn and Kayleigh* (@versace_tamagotchi)

thefatjewish

HIM AND GWYNETH ON THE BOTTOM LEFT AS A LESBIAN COUPLE IN BROOKLYN WHO OWN A STORE THAT ONLY SELLS SCARVES FOR DOGS IS MY FAVE

thefatjewish

DRUNK ME RECENTLY BOUGHT SOBER ME 40 DVD COPIES OF “NATIONAL TREASURE.” I DON’T EVEN OWN A FUCKING DVD PLAYER.

thefatjewish

LAST WEEK SOMEONE I KNOW CANCELED THEIR 15-PERSON BIRTHDAY DINNER ON THE DAY OF AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE I HAD SHOT HEROIN

thefatjewish

ALL I FUCKING CARE ABOUT IS CARBS AND LIKE 3 PEOPLE

thefatjewish

STOP BLAMING ASTROLOGY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY JUST A HUGE BITCH

thefatjewish

SO MANY PEOPLE WORKING ON A “CLEAN EATING PLAN” RIGHT NOW THAT WILL LAST EXACTLY 27 DAYS

thefatjewish

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? @emrata

thefatjewish

SOME PEOPLE ARE AT WORK SOME PEOPLE ARE IN CABO SOME PEOPLE ARE DRUNK AT WORK, IT’S SO FUCKING CONFUSING WHAT ARE WE DOING

thefatjewish

I5 FUCKING PLANE TICKETS FROM CHICAGO TO PARIS, 10 PIZZAS, HOME ALONE DAD WAS BALLLLLINGGGGGGGG

thefatjewish

Not all heroes wear capes. Some are Armenian midgets who are slightly under the weather. ( @boujeeslut)

thefatjewish

So many $9 iced matchas, so little fucking income.

thefatjewish

“Grandpa, I’m a social media disruption specialist for a multi vertical gender fluid dating app!” said the 26 year old girl at Thanksgiving dinner to her grandfather who lost his hand in Korea and thinks Hillary Clinton worships Satan, who nods approvingly, yet is deeply confused and upset. ( @broazay)

thefatjewish

“White people love snitching so much, they invented yelp” - @desusnice

thefatjewish

HOLY FUCK THIS CANNOT BE UNSEEN ( @pizzaslime)

thefatjewish

THIS AIRPLANE PILOT IS VERY FUCKING GOOD AT HALLOWEEN

THEFATJEWISH

Wait, am I washed up because I’m worried that he’s ruining a cast iron pan with that sponge and the soap?? I NEED TO GO GET BLACKOUT DRUNK IMMEDIATELY AND RECLAIM MY FUCKING YOUTH.

thefatjewish

I WISH I WAS IN MYKONOS WITH LINDSAY LOHAN WATCHING HER DANCE ON ECSTASY IN A SILK ROMPER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK?

thefatjewish

Heyyyyyyy Russia, can you please stop trying to politically puppeteer us and maybe use all your teen hackers for some shit that we’d all actually be into? K THANKS BYEEEEE ( @samaranieves)

thefatjewish

One time I had unprotected sex with a white woman with dreadlocks who was a vegan, and she took a shit in my bathroom that literally smelled like a corpse filled with cabbage. Burned my eyes when I walked in there.

thefatjewish

The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit.

thefatjewish

I’m not gay, but fucking Joe Biden would be patriotic, right?

thefatjewish

Never fucking forget. #9/11

thefatjewish

Some girls want flowers. Some want ridiculously expensive sushi. SOME JUST WANT TO WANDER AROUND COSTCO SCARFING FREE SAMPLES @hinge

thefatjewish

I’m sure this comment section is going to be super fun and reasonable!

thefatjewish

ALSO, IF YOU GAVE IT SUNGLASSES I FUCKSSSSS WITH YOU. IF YOU PUT IT IN THE CENTER YOU’RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PSYCHO.

thefatjewish

Remember when the world was supposed to end in 2012? What happened to that? WHO FUCKED THAT UP

thefatjewish

2022: EVERYONE IS AN INFLUENCER (THOSE WITH UNDER 100 FOLLOWERS ARE REFERRED TO AS “NANO INFLUENCERS”), BUT NOBODY CAN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE.

thefatjewish

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE IN TAMPA WITH A HORRENDOUS LEG TATTOO WHO DOESN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD

thefatjewish

Hey guys, just a quick reminder that Blue Ivy’s life is sooooo much fucking better than yours. Have a great night peasants!

thefatjewish

I’ve been drinking rosé since 10:30, should I start drunk dialing celebrities I have in my phone? MICHAEL B JORDAN I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE DUDE

thefatjewish

People my age are having children on purpose and I still haven’t unpacked from a trip I took to Ibiza in fucking March. I got a UTI on that trip. ( @thekayanova)

thefatjewish

Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.

thefatjewish

Asians are soooooo future.

thefatjewish

TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER

thefatjewish

It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.

thefatjewish

I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS ( @doughbvy)

thefatjewish

And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? ( @melecevida)

thefatjewish

I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.