TYRESE Luna Maya thefatjewish - instagram lists #feedolist

tyrese

We live in a world where people will ONLY look out for you... And or do things for YOU if THEY get something out of it...... It’s not genuine and it’s not from the HEART if all you’re thinking about is what you’re going to get OUT of it..... If you agree say YES!!!!!

tyrese

tyrese

@MrKing is a bully!!

tyrese

15 years ago Jam Master Jay brought RUN-DMC to Watts to an event I used there host there called #WATTSDAY he was my dude and my brother RIP!! 10 years ago this all started from Rev’s Infamous #RevRunWisdom Emails that used to go out everyday!!! Well... I responded to one and had NO idea that HE would actually respond to it lol - our first call lasted almost 4 hours and we’ve been rockin ever since #Mentor #BestMan #Family #RoleModel #Influence #VeryMarriedFamilyManWhoInfleuncedMeToSettleDownTurnANewChapter #Legend #BestFriendForever Jam Master Jay you are loved and missed everyday!!!! #AllWeDoIsLaughAndInspireEachother #JustineAndSamanthaAreAlsoBesties life is good....Down With The King @RevWon

tyrese

Thank you Jesus!!!!!!! #TheGibson’s

tyrese

Soraya: Are you really just gonna sit in front of me and eat a juicy steak!? Shayla: Please Soraya you only have 2 teeth stop it! Lol

tyrese

I had to tell my daughter on the way to the Eiffel..... Me: I’m going to be a tough act to follow... Shayla: What do you mena Dad? Me : Your first boyfriend will be at 35 you’re going to be able to tell him sorry I my dad brought me to the Eiffel Tower first! Thank you father God we love you with our WHOLE HEARTS and appreciate you beyond words.... We will never ever take our “access” for granted!

tyrese

Y’all won’t even be able to even remotely understand- Wife Daughter Bonding Vibes Headed to Paris!!!! #FirstEverGibsonFamilyGetAway #ShaylaSorayaSamanthaGibson thank you Jesus we are now living everything we’ve prayed for!

thefatjewish

I sold my wine company @drinkbabe to the largest alcohol conglomerate in the world while wearing assless leather chaps to meetings and having one of the stupidest haircuts of all time. Anything is possible in 2019 you guys. No, but like seriously, fucking ANYTHING.

lunamaya

Dengan judul 5712 😜 #buatyangngertiaja

lunamaya

Thank you always being there to listen. I am so lucky to have you as my bestie. Enjoy your 🎂 day. Looking forward to many more years of friendship. 🥳🎉🎁😘😍 @iwetramadhan

lunamaya

@elleindonesia August 2019 issue Photograper @rajaregar Stylist @ismelya Makeup @bubahalfian Hair @ardndut #lunamaya

lunamaya

@elleindonesia August 2019 issue Photograper @rajaregar Stylist @ismelya Makeup @bubahalfian Hair @ardndut #lunamaya

lunamaya

@elleindonesia August 2019 issue Photograper @rajaregar Stylist @ismelya Makeup @bubahalfian Hair @ardndut #lunamaya

lunamaya

@elleindonesia August 2019 issue Photograper @rajaregar Stylist @ismelya Makeup @bubahalfian Hair @ardndut @time.international @maisonvalentino #lunamaya

lunamaya

@elleindonesia August 2019 issue Photograper @rajaregar Stylist @ismelya Makeup @bubahalfian Hair @ardndut #lunamaya

lunamaya

@elleindonesia August 2019 issue Photograper @rajaregar Stylist @ismelya Makeup @bubahalfian Hair @ardndut #lunamaya

lunamaya

Happy Birthday to @millanefernandez beautiful and fabulous, you're gorgeous inside and out, stay crazy, stay gold! I love you bestie 😘

lunamaya

Mau cari Atasan yang modelnya selalu fashionable dan harganya terjangkau? Cek IG @radwah , salah satu bajunya ini yang aku pakai nyaman banget bahannya dan harganya pun aman di kantong. Thank you @radwah 😘 . . . Handled by @iconic_sister

lunamaya

Good Times 🥳

lunamaya

Bersyukur banget ada waxing yang praktis tinggal pakai tanpa dipanasin dan ada BPOM nya @miraelsugarwax sekarang uda ga perlu bayar mahal mahal waxing di salon. semua bisa dilakukan dirumah! I love Mirael! 😍 @miraelsugarwax . . . Handled by @iconic_sister

thefatjewish

2019 IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

lunamaya

Never regret anything that made you smile 😊 #Tokyo #July #2019 #lunamaya

lunamaya

Baby blue but not feeling blue💙

lunamaya

🌈

tyrese

On this Sunday here’s a mind and spiritual shift for you!

tyrese

Speak it....... Pray specific prayers about it.... Move in the direction of it.... And watch God move mountains to make SURE you get all that your heart desires....... #MockCover soon to be REAL cover...... #VoltronChairman

tyrese

If you agrees say yes!

tyrese

1 things for sure..... 2 things for certain I will get there.....

tyrese

This is what happens to my brain when I’m trying to memorize 6 pages of dialogue #Fast9

tyrese

#repost I didn’t go see fireworks the other night... My daughter and I went to calm scared doggies at the pound. Almost every dog had a visitor! 🧡 ( clearly there are still some folks out here with big hearts it to these guys really nice of you..)

tyrese

Is this real? Spider season?? Wtf

lunamaya

🦄

lunamaya

🍭

tyrese

In the season of my life I’m for the first time ever experiencing what the concept of “It’s lonely at the TOP” means..... Party it’s my fault cause I don’t ever go out and other than social media and posting my thoughts and feelings I’ve found myself keeping to myself........ God kind of cleared out the old and set me up to WELCOME new things, new energies and new people..... But I just haven’t been able to to quite bond and vibe with anyone on a real level...... So.... For now it definitely feels lonely at the top! You have people that work FOR you and WITH you but as much as you’re bonding and vibing it’s clear if you go 3 weeks without payment lol those supposed “bonds” will go away quick...... So for everyone who can relate to this? I send this message to you...... Stay clear stay very clear that friendships and relationships should feel like “Exchange” you can’t chase people and or be ok with people chasing YOU just to be your “friend”... Don’t settle for anything or just anyone cause your life is SO blessed you are exposing them to a life and lifestyle that they wouldn’t normally see or have “access” to on any level of they wasn’t friends with you..... However no one wants to be alone....... My best friend in the whole world is my wife Samantha Gibson .. When it comes to the fellas and bonding I need to do a better job! My question becomes WHAT can you possibly bring to my LIFE that doesn’t already exist..... ?? The question becomes in this season... Who’s got real love for me... vs who’s got love for me based on WHAT they can get out of me..... Or get “access” to I’ve been through some real shit and had people that I love on REAL levels to burn me and catch me off guard with random shit..... Being too desperate and chasing people to simply be your friend is very painful in the end cause you know they didn’t give YOU that same effort.... #RandomThoughts but transparent cause I know real folks can relate real stuff.....

tyrese

A lot of people don’t know.... But my first daughter Shayla Gibson is actually Jewish and speaks fluent Hebrew...... 11 years ago I took my first trip to israel to meet the rest of the family and had a spiritually LIFE changing and LIFE altering time..... I often think about going to places and feeling like I was literally “Walking in the footsteps of Jesus Christ” this is me at the wailing wall praying for WORLD PEACE standing next to Israeli soldiers and a rabbi.... I have encouraged my little girl to never have a “local” or “on my block” view.... Being able to travel and open your mind and spirt to new people, cultures and religions has changed me forever....... Before I go back to sleep here in London! I wanted to point out the 3rd picture and tell you that when Jesus died he was wrapped in white garm ( traditional Jewish style wrappings) and this play that I’m kneeling over praying is the EXACT SPOT where Jesus body was laid.... As I was standing there people were crying and weeping and asking JESUS for forgiveness and healing the line was wrapped around 8 corners so when I finally got there I cried and prayed and could not believe I was there in that space and moment.... Reading the Bible is cool and watching movies about Christ is cool.... Going to israel and walking IN the footsteps of Christ was LIFE CHANGING FOREVER AND EVER....... As a Christian man of God I wanna share this... I still believe that Gods FAVOR over my LIFE health and career are connected to THOSE PRAYERS that I PRAYED almost 11 years ago in Israel aka Palestine 🇵🇸 🇮🇱...... photos by @raanantalwedding brilliant Photogrpaher!

tyrese

We will never forget.....

tyrese

Amen!!

tyrese

Praying for California this is a fresh in Northride California I’m honestly looking at these images and have to convince myself that this is real and not a movie set...... Prayers for anyone in Cali dealing with these earthquakes...... It’s been almost 15+ years since a real earthquake has hit us on this level... Thank God we don’t have “Earthquake Season”-

lunamaya

Take time to make your self Happy 😊

lunamaya

You’re my cotton candy 🍭 #moonchild #ipurpleyou 💜

lunamaya

Night out 🥳 thanks @picciramlan for the picture ( candid )

lunamaya

See you soon honey 🍯😜 #Lunamaya #lmday2day #LMloves2travel *adayangtaukitakemana?? 😜😎

lunamaya

Morning 🎈 Photo by @riomotret @riomotretofficial Styled by @erichalamin Make up @bubahalfian Hairdo @ade_ragil_hairdo Dress @wikiwu5 #riomotret #riomotret2019 #riocelebritybeautyportrait #IndonesiancelebritybyRIOMOTRET

LunaMaya

We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we ware having fun, happy birthday @diananasimuddin loving, calm, fun, humble soul. Enjoy your cake day and don’t forget to have fun this weekend 🥰😇😍🎂😇💖💙😍🥳💜🎁🎊😇💚 (early Birthday) 😜

LunaMaya

Thank you💚 Photo by @riomotret @riomotretofficial Styled by @erichalamin Make up @bubahalfian Hairdo @ade_ragil_hairdo Dress @wikiwu5 #riomotret #riomotret2019 #riocelebritybeautyportrait #IndonesiancelebritybyRIOMOTRET

LunaMaya

💖

LunaMaya

Don’t forget to smile 🤗 #blessed #lunamaya #lmday2day #selflove

LunaMaya

Kangen ugaaa 🥳 #latepost✌

lunamaya

aku suka banget PAKAI PRODUK PELANGSING AJAIB dari olshop langganan ku di @soraya_slimmingshop SEPAKET MUNAFIE LEGGING LENGKAP yang sekejap bikin badan Ku langsing, tanktop dan legging nya ku pakai nyaman bgt, ga bikin sesek juga karna bahannya ori dari jepang, recommended buat kalian wajib punya dan coba apalagi abs lebaran badan juga pasti lebar-an😂 Disini masih bnyak product pelangsing lainnya lho. nah klo mau cari yg ori cmn di os langganan aku ini aja, ngga akan nyesel deh dijamin. langsung aja order di @soraya_slimmingshop dapatkan badan ideal mu Disni 😘 Teman2 artis lainnya juga udh pakai lho . LAGI ADA DISKON 50%🤗

lunamaya

💪🏻

lunamaya

Good vibes 🥳

lunamaya

Lady in blue 💙 @gheapanggabeanprivate @gheafashionstudio #RayainGhea

lunamaya

Kalau hidup itu ibarat buah, kamu mau milih jadi buah apa? Kalau aku strawberry pastinya! 🍓Karena bentuknya imuttt kecil dan manis. Kebayang kan apalagi strawberry dibalut sama es krim mochi, apalagi jadinya kalau bukan Mochi dari @AiceIndonesia, pelopor es krim mochi di Indonesia yang enak banget! Teksturnya kenyal, es krim di dalamnya ciptain sensasi yummy tak terlupakan di mulut! Perfectoooo! 😍😍😍 Udah nngak jaman juga bingung nyari Aice Mochi, karena udah tersebar di hampir semua modern market. Nggak susah kan untuk #AiceSyikin hari kamu? Tinggal nikmatin Aice Mochi dan jangan lupa follow @AiceIndonesia untuk kejuatan lainnya! 😎😎 #HaveAnAiceDay #BerbagiDenganYangManis #AiceMochiDessert

lunamaya

In order to bloom, you must grow. -Aly Aubrey 🌺

lunamaya

Selalu menyenangkan dengan mereka 💖🥳

lunamaya

Sun kissed ☀️ #LA @lunahabit scarf 🧣 📸 @bryanbrndn

LunaMaya

Long overdue catch up after long holiday 😎🥳 @iwetramadhan

LunaMaya

Bingung weekend kesitu-situ aja? Nah sekarang Bioskop Indiskop sudah bisa melayani kalian buat nonton film-film Indonesia terbaik terutama buat kalian yang di wilayah Teluk Gong Jakarta Utara. Pilih Jadwal tiket nonton kamu di jam-jam berikut ya: 122.45 ; 15.00 ; 17.00 ; 19.00 Kamu bisa dapatkan harga tiket paling terjangkau So, jangan sampai ketinggalan ya! #nontonyuk #indiskopseru #bioskoprakyat #bekraf #parfi56' Alamat: Jl Teluk Gong Raya, RT 10/RW 10 Penjagalan, Penjaringan, Jakarta Utara

LunaMaya

Happy kabajon day 😜

LunaMaya

Flying #solo but who cares. #nofilter flex hitam krn matahari di sini yang sangat menyengat. Tapi bersyukur untuk semua kebaikan Yang di berikan dan lots of blessings. Thank you and had a great time with all of my friends. Will be back again soon. #love #selflove #blessed #lovemyskin

LunaMaya

Beautiful #LA #nofilterneeded

tyrese

Thank you father God you are the King of all Kings!!!!!!!

tyrese

What I wanted.... Vs what I got lol #LondonUK we back!!!!!!!! #Fast9 the reason I would much rather shoot my movies up there with the Care Bears!!!! They get good weather year round!

tyrese

Playtime is over London I just touched down let’s go get her done!!!!!!!!!!! #Fast9 #PrayersAlways

tyrese

Like daddy like daughter....... Keeping the @Adidas on deck at all times.....

tyrese

How exactly would you explain re-heated McDonald’s fries and please connect it to your ex.... lol this is about to be legendary!

lunamaya

New hair and ready for summer ☀️ thank you @gregoryifergan 🥳😍💖

tyrese

Soraya daddy loves you I have head out to go to London see you soon..... I turn around “Daddy there’s no way you’re shooting Fast9 without me see you at the airport Dad”.... -Soraya GIBSON wheels UP!!!!!!!!

tyrese

The internet was

tyrese

Shit is about to be legendary 3 movies titles go!

tyrese

Kids stay away from these post and comments cause people are going to go at each other...... This REAL vs FAKE topic has been a real issue.... you define it.... What’s real to you.? What’s fake..?? Details please

tyrese

If you agree say “yes”...

lunamaya

Me and my boo 🤣

lunamaya

☀️

lunamaya

Sundays ☀️

lunamaya

When @bimopermadi ask us to pose 😝🥳 @bclsinclair

lunamaya

@dior exhibition 💖 #latepost✌

lunamaya

Being local 😎

lunamaya

@dior exhibition 💚

lunamaya

“Summer has always been my favorite season” #welcomingsummer #amsterdam #june #lunamaya @optikseis sunnies

lunamaya

#BFF

TheFatJewish

FUCK YES SUCK DICKS! Shouts to all my bears, wolves, otters, rats, pandas, bulls, cubs, circuit boys, closet jocks, twinks, twunks, drag queens, soft butches, stone butches, high femmes, lipstick lesbians, celesbians, diesel dykes, power bottoms, classic tops, verse boiiiis, leather daddys and everyone else in the rainbow THESE COLORS DON’T RUN #pride

tyrese

Seems like my life everyday.....::. I gotta get off these 5 hour energy drinks and coffee.... Any suggestions on ALL NATURAL sleep aids...??? I’m talking that 8 to 10 hours of sleep sleep...... Any suggestions..... I already know some of y’all gonna say WEED sorry I don’t smoke lol

tyrese

Social media teaches us a lot about people and their world views....... Lol I know I know most complain about politics, local issues and “stuff” privately and it’s not in everyone’s blood to speak OUT about real shit that’s going on..... But you post about YOU everyday....?? Like everyday..??

tyrese

Someone finally exposed the secret

tyrese

I’m exhausted with friendships and familyships that feel ONE SIDED....... Use me, use me, use me then throw me away when you’re done....... Although my “cut off” game is strong and real obvious when It happens..... It all comes from a place of SELF LOVE!!!! Being there and showing up for people and going ALL OUT for people.... Willing to jump over mountains, and oceans and the great WALL of China for someone that’s not willing to jump over a small puddle for YOU has to stop....... If you agree say “Yes” and please chime in below!! ( so we’re clear I don’t love and care and go above and beyond JUST to see what folks will do for me in return ) but at a certain point when it’s VERY clear that your friends and family exchange is OME SIDED you have to SEE and recognize that shit and adjust...... I’m not gonna be laying in bed listening to my wife or have my wife listening to me about feeling “used” anymore...... That cut off starts now..... I hope it’s been fun and I hope you got ALL that you came here to get..... You ask why I got cut off...?? #SelfLoveDidIt

tyrese

I think my last album #BlackRose may have caught that LAST window of actual CD’s being sold lol..... People ask why I’m on edge about ever releasing another album..? Other than my love of MUSIC in itself..... We ain’t out here doing this shit for FREE lol..... I’m all about adjusting and changing with the times but this streaming shit has PAUSED me...... 1,500 FREE LISTENS then it counts as ONE ALBUM SELL?? .... Just one..?? That’s like a nigha driving my car 1,500 times then he finally offer me gas money wtf....... Can we talk about it....?

tyrese

Paris........ UK

tyrese

Protect your energy....... I repeat protect your energy a CONDOM can’t protect you from evil people who will drag you into their thinking, their negative outlook, their lack of DREAMS and life’s ambitions...... Generational curses and the curse of “thinking” the way everybody has been thinking in the FAMILY...... If you agree with any of these post say “Yes” Tag 3 people who would be inspired by this!

Tyrese

Ha! Let’s keep this energy going caption this and add to the excuses

Tyrese

Some would ask just how far back do I go with @JustinLin let’s just say 2004...... Crazy tru story.... I found out that they were doing a movie with James Franco called ANNAPOLIS...... Directed by someone named Justin Lin..... ( this was actually his first real studio film..) I was told no... I can’t come in for a meeting or audition cause they are going with a “White Drill Sargent” My agent and mangers called and called and finally got them to let me “audition” for the role...... I went to a surplus store I was FULLY DRESSED in army fatigues, military boots, I had my drill Sargent HAT on and I event wore a dog tags and a whistle...... I walked in and barely spoke to anyone..... There stands JAMES FRANCO.... I went CRAZY in that audition all in JAMES face, I was strong I took over and OWNED the room....... Let’s just say I got the movie and the role on the spot and Justin Lin was there to say YES.....///. The studio tried to fight him on giving me the ROLE.... And in good o’l Justin fashion he stood his ground and the role happened!!!!! This movie also had our girl @jordanabrewster in it crazy JB right..???? Now fast forward @justinlin has now directed #F3 #F4 #F5 #F6 ::: ::: and now he’s back to direct us in #F9 and #F10 it’s been many years of laugher and inspiration I just wanted you guys to know when I speak on history and family and being a TRIBE.... This is what I mean.....

Tyrese

Shout to one of my real unsung heroes a guy who never wants to be posted cause he’s very ok with being a powerful influence behind the scenes....... I don’t know where you came from but I can’t thank you enough for your friendship and brotherhood.... Our kids are best friends..... The play dates have been legendary.... And I’m almost sure @quincy loves you the same...... Thank you for always being there and holding shit down...... Sometimes you just need one good damn friend and that’s you...... @fuxor

Tyrese

If anybody got 11 million laying around this 767 plane can get real for you..........

Tyrese

Realest shit I’ve ever posted

Tyrese

We need to stand up and speak OUT..........

Tyrese

I just have to shout @audi for the love and real UK hospitality that was shown while I was in the UK shooting #Morbius my day to day ride was as real as it gets!!!!!! Look forward to rocking with you again...... I am ready and willing to rock your 2021 exclusive wheels anytime lol

THEFATJEWISH

YOU’D BE ABLE TO POSTMATES IT AND HAVE IT DELIVERED WITH A PINT OF ICE CREAM, GUARANFUCKINGTEED.

THEFATJEWISH

MY MOM HAS BEEN DOING THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY FOR FREE FOR 40 FUCKING YEARS

Tyrese

I give you my word that I’m going to implement everything you instilled in me and taught me....... John Singleton aka My Mr Miyagi, My Guru, my Phill Jackson....... Love you and miss you KING!!!!!

Tyrese

Avi Arad........ Always ahead of your time..... Way back when we first met you.... You wanted me to play LUKE CAGE in a movie directed by John Singleton after 7 private lunches and dinners ultimately it was decided that Hollywood wasn’t ready at the time to embrace a black superhero in a full on movie....... But I will never ever forget how hard you fought to try and make it happen for myself and John...... Now fast forward 12 years later I am wrapped on our FIRST film..... #MORBIUS when you emailed and texted me sharing your excitement about the “daily’s” and the scenes that we’ve been shooting here in London only THEN did I really really believe that we were making something special..... You are not a NEW believer you have always believed in me and I just wanted to send a cheers and THANK YOU!!!! Here’s to our first with many many more to come....... Love you Avi Arad and please hug your beautiful wife for me!! She’s a GEM!!!!!! #AviArad #MarvelLegend #SpidermanLegend #MCU #LukeCage

Tyrese

Whatever it takes...... Just keep going.... You hear me..?? Keep going

Tyrese

Thank you john singleton for deciding that you had a problem with the state of black Hollywood and going above and beyond to change it..... Honored that I was one of the people you chose to take with you on this journey..... You left us with SO MUCH!!!!!!! As your TRIBE we will march on to the best of your drum and keep the integrity of what your stood for in our hearts and intentions.... I’m on the plane headed back to London you will live on in our hearts and souls forever and ever....

Tyrese

Hi Mom

Tyrese

Trying to put y’all up on game

thefatjewish

I RECENTLY MET AN INFLUENCER MOM WHO IS PROMOTING “CBD EDAMAME FOR KIDS” AND AT THAT MOMENT I TRULY WISHED I HAD ALZHEIMER’S AND WOULD FORGET EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN ( @cxcope)

thefatjewish

I'm wayyyy too consistently stoned to keep all this fucking information straight, like TARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM, BROTHER AND UNCLE OF BARMARIUS LONGNATHINGHAM THE THIRD, RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE THRONE OF THE SECOND KINGDOM OF DRAGONWIG, OKKKK NERDS ( @eliasswakim)

thefatjewish

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE PLANS YOU MAKE WHILE PEAKING ON MOLLY AT SUNRISE DURING A DIPLO SET AREN’T ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN AND THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE EVER AGAIN. (Twitter: @hipstermermaid)

thefatjewish

SPOKE AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, WAS MOST LIKELY THE FIRST PERSON EVER TO WEAR REALTREE OVERALLS WITH NO SHIRT AND USE THE WORD “HANDJOB” THREE TIMES DURING A LECTURE. ME AND @anitaelberse (WHO IS AN ACTUAL LEGEND) TALKED ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, HOW WE BUILT @drinkbabe, AND THE TIME ME AND MADONNA PRANK CALLED BONO DURING A SLEEPOVER. AND TO ANYBODY OUT THERE WHO HAS A SICK BUSINESS IDEA, DM ME BECAUSE I WANT TO INVEST AND HELP YOU BUILD SO YOU GET RICH ENOUGH TO BUY A FALCON FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME @harvardhbs, MEMORIES WERE MADE.

thefatjewish

I’m garbage at listening, but I’m honestly amazing at guessing a white girl’s name. I can pick a Lauren out of a lineup. I can spot a Lindsay/Lindsey from a block away. I CAN CALL AN ALLIE/ALLY/ALY/ALI BY ONLY SEEING THE BACK OF HER FUCKING HEAD. It’s truly a gift. ( @saradesdinn)

thefatjewish

MY WINE COMPANY @DRINKBABE IS CONSCIOUSLY COUPLING WITH THE FUCKING QUEEN, MY DEAR FRIEND/ BUSINESS GURU @EMRATA. LOOK FOR HER ON BILLBOARDS NATIONWIDE, STOMPING THROUGH CITIES LIKE GODZILLA IF GODZILLA HAD A MUCH BETTER BUTT

thefatjewish

*Names children Kayden, Jayden, Brayden, Ayden, Kaylen, Jadyn, Hayden, Peyton, Braedynn, Caiden, Zaidyn, Mackenzie, McKenna, Makayla, Jordynn and Kayleigh* (@versace_tamagotchi)

thefatjewish

HIM AND GWYNETH ON THE BOTTOM LEFT AS A LESBIAN COUPLE IN BROOKLYN WHO OWN A STORE THAT ONLY SELLS SCARVES FOR DOGS IS MY FAVE

thefatjewish

DRUNK ME RECENTLY BOUGHT SOBER ME 40 DVD COPIES OF “NATIONAL TREASURE.” I DON’T EVEN OWN A FUCKING DVD PLAYER.

thefatjewish

LAST WEEK SOMEONE I KNOW CANCELED THEIR 15-PERSON BIRTHDAY DINNER ON THE DAY OF AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE I HAD SHOT HEROIN

thefatjewish

ALL I FUCKING CARE ABOUT IS CARBS AND LIKE 3 PEOPLE

thefatjewish

STOP BLAMING ASTROLOGY, YOU’RE ACTUALLY JUST A HUGE BITCH

thefatjewish

SO MANY PEOPLE WORKING ON A “CLEAN EATING PLAN” RIGHT NOW THAT WILL LAST EXACTLY 27 DAYS

thefatjewish

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? @emrata

thefatjewish

SOME PEOPLE ARE AT WORK SOME PEOPLE ARE IN CABO SOME PEOPLE ARE DRUNK AT WORK, IT’S SO FUCKING CONFUSING WHAT ARE WE DOING

thefatjewish

I5 FUCKING PLANE TICKETS FROM CHICAGO TO PARIS, 10 PIZZAS, HOME ALONE DAD WAS BALLLLLINGGGGGGGG

thefatjewish

Not all heroes wear capes. Some are Armenian midgets who are slightly under the weather. ( @boujeeslut)

thefatjewish

So many $9 iced matchas, so little fucking income.

thefatjewish

“Grandpa, I’m a social media disruption specialist for a multi vertical gender fluid dating app!” said the 26 year old girl at Thanksgiving dinner to her grandfather who lost his hand in Korea and thinks Hillary Clinton worships Satan, who nods approvingly, yet is deeply confused and upset. ( @broazay)

thefatjewish

“White people love snitching so much, they invented yelp” - @desusnice

thefatjewish

HOLY FUCK THIS CANNOT BE UNSEEN ( @pizzaslime)

thefatjewish

THIS AIRPLANE PILOT IS VERY FUCKING GOOD AT HALLOWEEN

THEFATJEWISH

Wait, am I washed up because I’m worried that he’s ruining a cast iron pan with that sponge and the soap?? I NEED TO GO GET BLACKOUT DRUNK IMMEDIATELY AND RECLAIM MY FUCKING YOUTH.

thefatjewish

I WISH I WAS IN MYKONOS WITH LINDSAY LOHAN WATCHING HER DANCE ON ECSTASY IN A SILK ROMPER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK?

thefatjewish

Heyyyyyyy Russia, can you please stop trying to politically puppeteer us and maybe use all your teen hackers for some shit that we’d all actually be into? K THANKS BYEEEEE ( @samaranieves)

thefatjewish

One time I had unprotected sex with a white woman with dreadlocks who was a vegan, and she took a shit in my bathroom that literally smelled like a corpse filled with cabbage. Burned my eyes when I walked in there.

thefatjewish

The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit.

thefatjewish

I’m not gay, but fucking Joe Biden would be patriotic, right?

thefatjewish

Never fucking forget. #9/11

thefatjewish

Some girls want flowers. Some want ridiculously expensive sushi. SOME JUST WANT TO WANDER AROUND COSTCO SCARFING FREE SAMPLES @hinge

thefatjewish

I’m sure this comment section is going to be super fun and reasonable!

thefatjewish

ALSO, IF YOU GAVE IT SUNGLASSES I FUCKSSSSS WITH YOU. IF YOU PUT IT IN THE CENTER YOU’RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PSYCHO.

thefatjewish

Remember when the world was supposed to end in 2012? What happened to that? WHO FUCKED THAT UP

thefatjewish

2022: EVERYONE IS AN INFLUENCER (THOSE WITH UNDER 100 FOLLOWERS ARE REFERRED TO AS “NANO INFLUENCERS”), BUT NOBODY CAN CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE.

thefatjewish

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE IN TAMPA WITH A HORRENDOUS LEG TATTOO WHO DOESN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR DAD

thefatjewish

Hey guys, just a quick reminder that Blue Ivy’s life is sooooo much fucking better than yours. Have a great night peasants!

thefatjewish

I’ve been drinking rosé since 10:30, should I start drunk dialing celebrities I have in my phone? MICHAEL B JORDAN I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE DUDE

thefatjewish

People my age are having children on purpose and I still haven’t unpacked from a trip I took to Ibiza in fucking March. I got a UTI on that trip. ( @thekayanova)

thefatjewish

Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don't want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn't have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.

thefatjewish

Asians are soooooo future.

thefatjewish

TAYLOR SWIFT IS THE GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH ONE SUPER LONG BRAID WHO IS DEEPLY OBSESSED WITH HORSES AND HAS HORSE STICKERS ALL OVER HER BINDER

thefatjewish

It’s hotter than Djimon Hansou wearing a Montcler jacket in a sauna out there, people.

thefatjewish

I don’t care if you’re a Reddit shitposting anarchist knife enthusiast who believes Hillary Clinton is a reptile, EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS ( @doughbvy)

thefatjewish

And I never encountered quicksand, which I was told would be an issue, plus nobody ever tried luring me into a van for “free candy”. I WAS A HUSKY CHILD WHAT THE FUCK PEDOS?? ( @melecevida)

thefatjewish

I PUT DESIGNER DRUGS IN MY BUTT 2 WEEKS AGO IN LAS VEGAS AND I’M STILL NOT FEELING OK. DON’T GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP.