Whitney Cummings - instagram lists #feedolist

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I’m deeply vibing on the crazy posters people are making for my new Netflix special. Bring them on - the weirder the better. Thank you for this one @onebyonepodcast

whitneycummings

Am I allowed to just get married in this? What is with the “wedding dresses must be white” racket? Who makes these rules? Has anyone experienced a not white wedding dress and how did it go? Why didn’t we all take a fashion tip from the icon @sarahjessicaparker?

whitneycummings

It really could go either way.

whitneycummings

This is not how I saw my life going.

whitneycummings

Fingers crossed the great @melissavcomedy and I are long lost twins so I finally get to call her my sister

whitneycummings

I was an intern at @voguemagazine and now they’re obsessed with me.

whitneycummings

Welcome to Hollywood

whitneycummings

Tonight I am on @jimmykimmellive dressed like the maid from the Jetsons. We talk about robots, weddings, and why I’ll never be in Star Wars.

whitneycummings

Wedding dress shopping is surprisingly hard and I rolled my ankle numerous times...but which one do you like? And thank you @amsale for letting me be such a dumb ass in your beautiful salon.

whitneycummings

Okay this started as a joke but now this bitch is starting to take my gigs. She’s on @todayshow airing right now but the good news is that her performance is robotic

whitneycummings

How many horses can you spot on this dress that I’m never taking off?

whitneycummings

Thank you @ryanseacrest for keeping the conversation moving so I couldn’t digress and force @vanessahudgens to sing RENT with me on @livekellyandryan this morning. Thank you @abbyhornacek for giving me this normal white shirt to borrow and 💇🏻‍♀️ @jillianhalouska 💄 @andrea_tiller

whitneycummings

I found the only shirt I’ll ever wear again. Thank you @lelarose for being a genius and realizing that dogs should be on everything. Tag your dog people ☺️

whitneycummings

I always forget I have this damn tattoo. Thank you for asking so many smart questions about my special @itsalexberg @buzzfeed @am2dm 🤖 📷 @jjreddington

whitneycummings

There is a slight chance I did all this just so I could drive in the carpool lane. #canitouchit

whitneycummings

I think I’m getting the hang of this Instagram thing: just pretend you’re busy and reveal too much.

whitneycummings

Violet was sick of my robot stealing her thunder.

whitneycummings

As always, thank you @joerogan.

whitneycummings

TWO more days till CAN I TOUCH IT? Streams on @netflixisajoke. Get ready to feel some weird things.

WhitneyCummings

It’s not often you get to pose on a red carpet next to a painting of your own dog. Thank you @refinery29 and @vca for collaborating to direct short films about animal adoption. #petfriendly

WhitneyCummings

Hairy girl summer in full effect. #canitouchit

WhitneyCummings

ONE WEEK till my new special CAN I TOUCH IT? is out on @Netflix. Share this weird ass poster and use hashtag #canitouchit, and I'll choose one of you lovely humans and record your outgoing voice mail message…

WhitneyCummings

Ooh, do I get married at @wayfarers_chapel?! Help! I need ideas. Tag venues that can accommodate a lot of comedians and about 50 dogs ☺️

WhitneyCummings

Just found this picture so I’ll guess I’ll spend the rest of the day staring into space. We miss you Brody. #enjoyit

WhitneyCummings

Summer is my bitch. #dogsofinstagram

whitneycummings

Okay, I’m thinking this whole technology thing has gone waaaay too far. #agechallenge

whitneycummings

Everyone I know is on vacation right now and I’m inside working like a dog, but I’m desperate to fit in so here’s me on vacation last year trying to not get sand in my uterus

whitneycummings

It’s Monday and you know what that means: put on a bra and a denim jumpsuit and get your shit together. Lmk your tips on how to get through a Monday because I am struggling and I don’t take adderall.

whitneycummings

To answer your question yes I do have a sports bra with my foster Violet on it.

whitneycummings

It’s summer and you know what that means: a bunch of outtake pix like this in our phones because where we tried so hard to be cute for the gram but then had a shame spiral for being fake as hell. Where are you taking staged pix today everyone?

WhitneyCummings

Spending my weekend goofing off with this handsome donkey. What are your plans for the weekend honey pies?

WhitneyCummings

No I was not cast in The Lion King but that won’t stop me from being in The Lion King 🦁

WhitneyCummings

FEMALE COMICS DON’T GET ALONG, THEY SAY, so behold my nemesis @jessimaepeluso. I love her even though she’s my mortal enemy. Who are your favorite female comics?

whitneycummings

#fashion

whitneycummings

Violets reaction after not seeing me for two weeks (I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING.) She has more impulse control training with @steffenbaldwin and then we will figure out the next best steps for the wrinkle dragon spaz face.

whitneycummings

My lil dumbass got stung by a bee most likely and her face blew up 3 times the size it normally is. Vet gave her steroids and antihistamine shot ... anyone else go through this? How long did it take for the swelling to go down?

whitneycummings

How long do we think it will take for insta to take this pic down even though this doesn’t at all resemble the placement of my actual nipple? Now what @chelcielynnn??

whitneycummings

For years I’ve wanted to meet and learn from the heroes at @pawsark2000. It was surreal and overwhelming to watch how they care for the elephants and humanely clicker train them so they can receive vet care. It sucks to hear, but I learned more about the aftermath of circuses, cub petting, and riding elephants. If you want to help, follow them, donate if you can and gently educate your pals. Don’t support sanctuaries who have cubs - that means there is breeding. Tag your friends who love animals 🐘

whitneycummings

A belated bravo to @janetmock on your Netflix deal and generally reigning supreme. Please just make a million shows. 🙌🏼

whitneycummings

Banger alert. Anyone else have some good advice to get people through a tricky day?

whitneycummings

Drain-iac

whitneycummings

Weed being legal in California may not be the greatest thing In the world for my insta pix?

whitneycummings

Happy birthday to the sparkliest, funniest, giant hearted-est, talented-est, most genuine queen of unicorns the world ever did see. I love you and can’t wait to cry my head off when you’re winning your 20th EGOT. Send your love to @beaniefeldstein.

whitneycummings

What would this TV show be called? ❤️ @lparrilla @fortunefeimster

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What it’s like to hang out with me in a nutshell

whitneycummings

Finally figured out Violets breed: unmade bed. Can you even spot her?

whitneycummings

Violet got a boo boo but the upside is that her cone looks like a dress, which is giving me a lot of invention ideas #sharktank I mean you’d buy a dog dress right?

whitneycummings

Thank you for having us @alecbaldwininsta. Can y’all name everyone in this pic? #matchgame

whitneycummings

Take a wild guess at what the question was? #matchgame

whitneycummings

The Fast and the Furious